This Week 11/3 NYC

 
Commentary

“Just because you’re a prostitute doesn’t mean you’re on Facebook, and just because you’re on Facebook doesn’t mean you’re a prostitute (it doesn’t!)” Village Voice

“Your sudden desire for stability will lead you to retrofit yourself with StabiliTrak, a rather dated skid-control system that breaks your feet individually to improve control.” The Onion’s Gemini Horoscope this week…

“My Internet browser has 24 tabs open. Among them are three separate attempts to reply to the same e-mail. My online banking session has timed out, and in the corner of my screen a Twitter feed is a never-ending scroll of news and links. Which I click. And click. What’s wrong with me?” BBC World Service documentary on DAD.

“Well the reason why you see the ladies in bikinis dancing in bars is because it’s a hot climate” Some well informed English ex-pat talking about the Thai sex industry.

“A couple of tips for those thinking about stepping into the breach – It’s ALL about who you follow. It’s best not to follow hundreds and hundred of people as it becomes very hard to keep up. I follow about 200. Generally avoid anyone who tweets relentlessly (if they have 10 000+ tweets, with very few exceptions they have verbal twitarreah and are best avoided).” Twitch’s tips on Twitter on Optimo’s site of un-top whatever of 2010…

“The thing is Wil, when you’re in the Kingsland next month talking to your mates and you say yeah it was New York fashion week and there was this thing we were invited to with free food and booze and supermodels and I just said ‘ yeah it’s not my thing really’… i think they’re going to call you somewhat of a tw*t!” Changing the error of my ways before I make a terrible mistake!

“You should probably take a cab”

Green Eyed Ransom calling.
So, NYC baby.. no internet baby! We’ve been robbing the neighbours all week… we’ve listened endlessly to Strange Overtones by Mr David Byrne since we’ve been here… bit creepy but my co-hort suggested that the lyrics bear a striking resemblance to our predicament “I wake up every morning, I hear your feet on the stairs, you’re in the next appartment…” then I rob your internet!

It’s NYC fashion week next week darling… we got invited to this ridiculous fashion party last night. There was even a rather deranged Michael Alig club-kid esque master of ceremonies. We drank ridiculously strong ‘the world’s first low-cal vodka… with vitamin water mixers’ till they kicked us out and stumbled home. Jesus… I feel emotional this morning!!

NYC has involved a large amount of ‘a pied’ and staring at this bloody laptop from 7 in the morning as I deal with GMT being well, 5 hours ahead! Been listening to loads of banging techno intertwined with the world service… sounds pretty good actually! BBC world service is amazing isn’t it… hate to sound like a massive anglophile but makes you appreciate how great it is when you’re away. Right good british institution!! Realised i’ve started typing without using any capitals and realise lots of other emails I get are doing the same thing… is this the end of punctuation as we know it and the continued bastardisation of the English language?! Which leads me nicely onto DAD (another discovery from the world service). “It wasn’t always like this. There was a time when I browsed – or lived as we used to call it – my life in just one tab. I remember when I first started working. I was given tasks to do one at a time. And they were completed – one at a time. With no distractions.” Now I know I’m a massive worrier anyway but this is sounding increasingly like me… I think I’m close to breaking point. Something must be done… read a book mate… that’s a bloody start! Really must crack that Energy Flash while I’m here… Think it’d help if I had a break from endless kick drums too… I think East Village Radio is slowly saving me… tis rather fine… specially at present with it’s dub stylings.

We have no TV in our flat… which is a good thing but part of me yearns for 24 hour american crap pumping through my irises. But then you could just watch the best bits of Jon Stewart online… that’ll surely do? That and the American shameless!!

Taking meself off to A1 records come Saturday… bargain vinyl… mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Thinking about taking the Lee Burridge 365 project and making it work in words… it could happen, it could happen alright!

Hackney vs Harlem – who’s the hardest? – go on Hackney!

Harlem is becoming whiter and whiter – one block in harlem – it’s been amazing how incredibly pertinent mr worldos servos has been since I’ve tuned in

Harlem or Brixton – regeneration or gentrifcationn – interesting.

Rent control is a wondrous thing here.

I realise you may not have wanted to read all about NYC but hey I’ve tried to keep it engaging and we can always educate ourselves can’t we? No? OK, here’s some nonsense:

Berlusconi on trial for under age sex with a prostitute… haha! Will he finally, finally fk off and make the decent Italian population able to feel good about it’s country again?! Hmm… let’s see eh?

As the dust settles on another year of round ups… we ask ourselves… just who are Above & Beyond and how did they come to win best DJ in the world? Ah trance, don’t you just love it.

Old lady fends off robbers! Looks suspiciously fake to these untrusting eyes…

Huffington Post sells out to AOL… oh dear Ariana what have you done? Yeah AOL just offered me all that mate… I had the integrity to turn it down! Jesus, some people. Anyway, the Onion is a far superior and wittier news source. Nation Elects First Openly Drunk Senator

I know this isn’t funny but it is a great headline: UK woman dies after ‘buttocks injection’ at US hotel.

Gladiator Spider

Wow, just come across the Living Tree Bridges – I’ve actually walked across this up in ‘officially wettest place in the world’ Meghalaya. Didn’t rain at all when i was there! Dunno what all the fuss was about?!

No idea what it is… but it’s rather nice.

Fancy spending 18 months locked in a steel capsule? Mmm, me neither to be fair.

Infinite Candle

I fancy playing Jeopardy but have no one to play it with!

Fk the future
– the past was better. Yeah man, back in the day!

A beach in the middle of the ocean?

Lucid dreaming is a scientifically proven phenomenon. Mr Hives I will doubt you no longer!

Right that’s it, you’ve had your fun, I’m off to be a pusher man.

erol 6mix.

Wx

If youre interested in getting involved with us, be it writing, stupidness or you simply have something you want to impart to the rest of the world, please get in touch with me here wil

If you’ve not signed up for our weekly rants… why not?! Rectify it forthwith here