This Week... Murderous pigs, are you happy to be alive, and Carol C

Commentary

"Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated." – Confucius

"I'm a late-night person who likes to eat a lot of breakfast stuff at night." – GZA

"I learned from a longtime farmer that pigs enjoy soothing music." – Jamie Wyeth

Ahem! Is this thing on? Guess who's back… back again… I-am-back. Tell-a-friend. Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back guess who's back.

It me! that's who, one of several writers here at the Ransom Note.

The world's richest man, Amazon.com founder Jeff Bezos, has accused the owner of a US gossip magazine of trying to blackmail him over lewd pictures. I have tried finding these lewd pictures — any lewd pictures online — but it's not as easy as you'd think.

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There's a lot of serious news to get through today but I really cba to bring the vibe down just yet, so let's take a look at Rate My Plate. Speficially, Carol C.

Well, wasn't that funny, eh?

Want to play a game? Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez dissects America's 'fundamentally broken' campaign finance laws – video

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It's good to finally see big ears, dogs into bdsm, robot arms, wheelchair users, men with wifi in their hands, and lady golfers FINALLY get the emojional representation they deserve. It's called progress, people! Fair play.

Thumbs up for this (if you have thumbs that is. If not, then a supportive nod and if you can't nod then a supportive blink but if you cant blink then do you own a phone and if not then I'm sorry and hopefully you'll be represented in emoji form in 2020).

OMG R U RUSSIAN OR LOVE PORK OR VISITING FARMS.