This Week… Adolescence, Building Bridges, And Very Narstie Weather.
"No one-T-shirt business – it's cold down there" – Big Narstie
"There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is love, the only survival, the only meaning." – Thornten Wilder
"Stinking without you…" – Dolores O'Riordan
This Week… 'uckin 'ell, this week has been abso-bloody-lutely bonkers, mate!
I mean, 20,000 jobs are up in the air with the collapse of Carillion. A Malaysian Airlines flight turned around to land after it began to shake four hours in to its journey — props to the pilot for landing it. You know, they still haven't found MH370 but the search begins again in February. Meanwhile, Boris Johnson wants to build a bridge aross the channel to…the continent.
Is he aware that it's full of EUropeans?
Man like Big Narstie presented the weather and it was glorious.
Patronising Weatherman: "Just a little hint, it's cold and wintery."
Big Narstie: "Aight! BOOM."
Piers Morgan: "For those who have no idea what Grime music is. What's the simple answer."
Meanwhile, a Dublin hotel did the honourable thing to a… **BUZZWORD ALERT**… Social media influencer by bluntly denying her a free five night stay. This is hardly This Week worthy but it's a sorry state of affairs this world now that non-skilled loudmouths can demand — whether it was politely asked or otherwise — freebies and services because they are an influential figure on the double u, double u, double u dot com.
Fucking hell look at them.
Can anyone blame theresa may for being shit at her job when you have this to look at every fucking day?
Be nicer to child migrants, Theresa…
— James Doleman (@jamesdoleman) January 16, 2018
Apparently adolescence lasts from the ages of 10 to 24. Personally I believe that if they are going to change it then they need to recognise that it lasts until about 35. Why I hear you cry?..
Can't argue with that one. For example, when I turned 10 my body hair appeared the next day, along with my voice dropping. And apparently, this used to happen around the age of 14 but has dropped with improved health and nutrition in much of the developed world to around the age of 10. Bollocks, it was 10 for me and that's that.
For example, when I was 10 I was 4'0", 5.3 stone whereas 21 years later I'm now 6'9", 22 stone. I'm a growing lad, me.
For example, I didn't event realise life goals existed until I was 28. Life's been a struggle since I turned 10 tbh but now I'm approaching 35 I really feel like I can really flourish and realise my dreams.
1960: In the future, we'll be able to take a flying car to the moon
2018: We used the data from our porn site to prove everyone in Hawaii stress masturbated after someone accidentally texted them that they were all about to killed by a missile pic.twitter.com/70aop6z1Kj
— Ryan Broderick (@broderick) January 18, 2018
Latte levy is still on the cards but it ain't not Barring levy is it now!
Fuck the flask. Look at these.
RIP Delores O'Riordan. Only 46, life is prescius, people.
It's the weekend now. Fuck off.