This Week 5/8


Once again the eyes of the nation have turned here to this, tiny village in western Pennsylvania, blah bl-blah bl-blah.”

Do you ever feel like you’re living the same day over and over again? OK, that’s maybe a little over-dramatic but I do feel somewhere between ground hog day and a britney spears meltdown-period… what’s that you say, shave yer hair off? Next hot trend mate… a year ago. Jesus Wil, catch up!

I think it all began with the time out ‘sx outdoors’ issue dropping through my door yesterday morning… that really has to be like 6th issue on sx in the past few months! I know it sells papers… but?

Where does inspiration derive from? Can someone tell me please, I seem to have been looking in the wrong pot/cell… see I can’t even find a word for where one might find inspiration…

Best I just get on the rant box eh?

OK, so everyone’s giving away save the environment bags at all these bloody festivals… is it going to get to the stage where we just have ridiculous amounts of them to dispose of instead of the plastic ones? I think we should all get one of these – it’s how i’m going to start rolling (pretty much literally) over the coming months. If you see me coming down the street with one of these, run for the hills… there will be, well maybe not blood but a mentalist at least.

My mate Kieran’s dad was called Richard. His surname is Hunter. At school he was called, yup you guessed it Dick Hunter. He also had 2 other friends called Richard. Their names were Dick Long & Dick Willycock. This is not meant to amuse… it is fact.

Some record came on in the pub the other day. Meant to be some new trendy bllx but it sounded exactly like simply red to me. I googled ole ginger mick – i had no idea he’d gone out with catherine zeta jones and that @ her marriage to Michael Douglas he performed an impromptu “super group” on stage with Art Garfunkel, Gladys Knight and Bonnie Tyler. Combination!
Jesus, ‘Stars’ sold 8 1/2 million copies worldwide & outsold Michael Jackson, U2, Dire Straits and Guns N’Roses in 93.

Quick, get away from the red obsession, you may not be able to get out!

Need new bike lights – a friend suggested these – much better option mate! Naomi Campbell giving evidence @ war crimes tribunal for Charles Taylor. I don’t know why but you get the impression she’s a rather unpleasant person isn’t she?

Exploding star in 3d – astronomers have put together the first three-dimensional reconstruction of an exploding star (known as a supernova).

Jukebox history – ” ‘juking’ is derived from the gullah dialect of the sea-island slaves of south carolina and georgia it originally meant disorderly or wicked but became a common word in black vernacular for having sex. like rock n roll, which also started life as a euphemism for f%&$*g ,the verb juke eventually came to mean dance – buy last night a dj saved my life if you don’t already own it. tis great. I picked it up again the other day and learnt the top comes from jukeboxes too. “by tabulating the number of times the record had been played could be accurately gauged was what inspired the top 40 because a standard issues jukebox could hold 40 records.” so there you go.

Things I have discovered this week – pears soap may be cheap but you crack through it in under a week! I never knew there were so many varieties of coal tar soap… what the fff is coal tar soap? I feel I’ve missed something major here. Is it like for old people n stuff?

I just opened a can of butter beans from the turkish supermarket round the corner. On the tin it said they’re ‘grade a’ but not just any old grade a, they’re ‘grade A fancy’ – good? good.

So ian and I are starting a new wetherspoon’s blog called the ‘get fed and pissed (not on yourself silly, drunk-wise) on 15 quid in every ‘spoons in London’ Just think about the amazing historical journey you’ll go on with the buildings you’ll visit for a start. There’ll be more details next week – I know you can’t wait – on how to join us in our mission to hit every london ‘spoon but in the meantime, why not let us know about your amazing experiences ‘spoon based thus far.

Wyclef jean to run for president of haiti – really, seriously? is this happening? could his ego get any bigger?

No more council houses for life – cammers is on the warpath. if you’re rich, now is the time to start eyeing up that there prime property. his proposals surely go no way to getting the ‘bludgers’ back to work. the whole, if you start earning a certain amount then you’ll automatically lose the house just contributes to the way the rest of the welfare state and the lower end of the system is set up. there’s no incentive to work that little bit harder because you instantly lose all these benefits and are worse off. nice thinkin cammers, nice. While we’re on the whole benefits thing did you see that bloke who was claiming disability benefit got nicked for giving dance lessons – ace.

Did you know that koala’s are not actually bears? i think i probably did… but anyway. Empire state of mind is it? newport state of mind more like mate. cheers for that one rob. he’s off on this there thing. looks equal parts sinister and quite fun.

Pilot fall asleep plane.

Have you ever seen Koyaanisqatsi? I think it needs a revisit. I wonder how archaic it’ll look these days? I think I’ve seen the box set with both films in fopp for cheap recently.

So the nation is switching off speed cameras. Blackberry data ban in UAE & Saudi Arabia and possibly now in Indonesia. Epic duckface

European championship athletics – uk comes third – no one takes any notice in the papers. why are we still called great britain when it comes to these sort of events? does great britain still exist? does society still exist man?!

Check david guetta’s stylings in this video – how is it possible for one man to be so incredibly, umm… cool? James murphy explains losing my edge in literary journal five dialss

Did you see that 3 mini vox-pop thing on channel 4 the other night on homosexuality? -This fundamental christian bloke was saying in 30 years our civilisation is going to be taken over by a stronger race – Islam. Islam doesn’t tolerate gays. So they should think!! What a well rounded argument to leave on.

Right, i need some time off… have you seen the weather this weekend? no rain if the bbc are to be believed… me and my bike gan go lee valley methinks. “It’s going to be all about country pubs, roast beef & yorkshire puddings & much less about soul searching, want to sleep/can’t sleep and general self-loathing.” TM
Thanks for listening, I may have just talked my way out of a meltdown.

“And like that… he’s gone!”


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