Random Facts With…BLONDES


When you mention Blondes around these parts we tend to get rather exciteable – maybe a little wet but let’s not go into that here.  But on that note Wine does make us shed a tear of unbridled emotion every time we hear it.  

We were rather big fans of their debut and this year’s great Swisher too.  We’ve still not seen them live, which we are sad about.

Sam Haar and Zach Steinman studied electroacoustic composition and studio art respectively. As Blondes their hearts aligned with house music in its most liquid form… tho certainly not it’s straightest form. Just what is straight house we hear you cry?  That’ll have to keep for another time I think. But seriously tho, what is ‘straight house’?

Anyway, moving on. Tasked with interviewing Sam & Zach we’ve plumped for the obtuse approach as ever – that’s not straight to you – and gone down the route of what seems to be quite a popular approach with these here Random Facts… 

?Wil – OK then, let’s begin 
Your mind is wandering about 30% of the time 

Sam – I’d say that seems small

Zach – I’d say that seems quite low.

S – I think you’re in control of your mind a lot less than you think you are

W – People with High IQ’s get bored easily That’s a shit fact

Sam – I think that’s bullshit. I think the smarter you are the more interesting everything should seem.

Z – unless you’re depressed in which case then everything seems boring. It’s probably why youre so bored because you can’t deal with everyone else in the world.

W Do either of you get bored? I don’t remember the last time I was bored.

Is it possible to be bored with the Internet?

S – I get bored on aeroplanes

Everyone laughs they do

Z – I get bored waiting in line for things or in the airport.

W – But don’t you have a phone next to you then.

Z – Yeah. Recently Ive been getting pretty annoyed with how dependent I am on my phone so I’m trying to curb my phone time

W – It’s nice being away in another country when you don’t have roaming so you actually have control on that usage

S – I think actually the phone and internet causes you to be so ADD and needing new information all the time that it kind of disables your capacity to sort of not have lots of new information all the time and not be where you are at the time, not see what’s there.


S – There’s really something to staring into space and going oh that’s actually more interesting than I thought it was.

W – Good fact to talk around. Have you got one?

Z – Sweden’s food agency confirmed that the anal secretions of beavers can be used as vanilla flavouring.

S&W – What?!!

Z – That’s from Harpers Magazine

S – No fucking way, Beavers shit vanilla!

W – I don’t even know how to respond to that.

Z – Never eat anything vanilla flavoured again!  Next time you have an ice cream you’ll be like ‘Tastes like beaver shit’

S – Brown eyes are actually blue underneath and as a result you can actually get surgery to turn brown eyes to blue.

Z – That’s pretty random! Wait, what’s the source on this?!

W – Back up your facts! I’m going to have to look that up.

Lack of sleep causes your taste buds to lose sensitivity, which ruins your sense of taste.

S – I was reading yesterday about sleep cycles and sort of how it reboots your entire system. So yeah you get densistised to things.

W – The city with the highest number of sex toy searches in Google is Atlanta Georgia.

Z – I believe that

S – That’s good to know

What’s Atlanta like?

S – Ive never been.

Is there a stigma attached to it?

S – Not so much. They’re just apparently sexually liberated.

Z – No you see that stat’s because they don’t know where to look. That’s like Googling sex!

W – There’s obviously not enough shops round there

S – Yeah the sex toy market is not very developed / educated round there.

Z – Estimated number of mosquito required to drain all the blood from an American adult is 1 mil 120,000

S – That’s a lot of blood!

W – I think that many; I would’ve just had a heart attack before they’d got to drain my blood.

W – the male brain is 10% bigger than the female brain but the female brain is more efficient.

I’m going to have to Google that! How do you measure efficiency?

S – Yeah I don’t know how you do that

W – Eddie Van Halen didn’t ask for royalties after completing Michael Jackson’s Beat It guitar solo.

Z – I totally would’ve!

W – I’m just going to keep reading these out until you pitch in. Trypophobia is the fear of asymmetrical holes. That isn’t a fear?!

S – What?!

W – In England a failed suicide attempt was illegal and was punishable by death.

Z – Beach going Frenchmen are more likely to approach women with butterfly tattoos on their lower backs.

Everyone laughs.

S – How can you possible determine that?!

W – There are more barrels of bourbon in Kentucky than there are people.

Z – No

S – Yeah I’d buy that. You have to age that shit like 10 years. It means everyone’s sitting on batches and batches.

Z – We were sat in the airport a few days ago drinking whisky and thinking, “If you ever wanted to Starbuck your own whisky you’d have to wait like 12 years!”  

W – You’d have to be pretty confident of your longevity.

S – You’d have to have a 12-year investment.

Z – IN 12 years this batch is going to start the rest of my life.

W – So Sam are you in New York and Zach you’re in California.

S – No we’re both in California just playing a few gigs. But we both live in New York mostly.

W – Back to the facts

Z – the goals of depressed people seem to be too general.

S – I like that. I mean is that a result of the depression or the cause of the depression?

W – Hitler suffered from chronic flatulence and took 28 different drugs to fight it cocaine was one of them!

Z – That’s a good fact!

S – I got one. Adult elephants can’t jump!

W – And baby ones can?

Z – Well

S – I mean maybe that’s not a good one to respond to.

Z – They can fall tho!

Everyone laughs.

W – Reincarnation is forbidden in China without permission from the govt. It’s difficult to know whether this is just propaganda they’re perpetuating here.

This must be propaganda: A gay bomb was once proposed at the pentagon. A bomb that would temporarily turn the enemy gay.

S – Who would write that?! The gay bomb!

W – Oh no it’s true. The halitosis bomb and gay bomb are former names for two theoretical non-lethal weapons that the pentagon speculated about using. That is pretty strange. I think I need to investigate this more.

S – They did do a weird testing of psycho actives on the military.

W – Have you seen that video where they’re losing their mind climbing trees?

S – No

W – Ill send it to you.

S – I mean it’s pretty fkkd up but it’s a pretty good way to disable the enemy.

S – Karaoke means empty orchestra in Japanese.

Z – Wow that’s a nice one. Very poetic.

W – Studies have identified the old person smell though they’ve found that young and middle aged people actually smell worse.

Z – I feel like kids smell worse than everyone. 

S – They’ve got that fresh baby smell.

Z – I dunno more like a musty smell.

S – I’m kind of looking at a lot of these facts and I’m very sceptical.

W – Yeah, like how are they substantiated?

S – It’s kind of an interesting format this when you think about it.

Z – Decibels of sound pressure sufficient to ignite a person’s hair on fire. 155.

S – Bullshit!

Z – I dunno.

S – What frequency?

Z – More information needed to explain that one.

W – Spicy foods cause insomnia. I can believe that

Z – Yeah make sense. Or just acid reflux!

S – I’m seeing here that a starting pistol can be as loud as 170 decibels and I don’t think that lights your hair on fire.

Z – Yeah a little more information needed for that fact.

W – Bananas have no fat, cholesterol or sodium.

Z – That’s not true! I thought they were like the fatties food.

S – That’s avocados.  I’ve got a 0.4gs of fat and 1 mg of sodium here!

S – I read that the breed of banana that we know has only been in the market since the 40’s or something. Before that it was a totally different banana that got wiped out. It didn’t bruise at all and it was really tasty. It got wiped out by some pathogen and it was resistant to bruising. Now this one is resistant to that pathogen but they bruise easily.

Z – I feel like most bananas these days are pretty boring these days. The range of quality of them isn’t great.

1 in 6 Americans have admitted to having peed in the pool.

W – I’d say that was more in the UK. We don’t get in them very often so don’t know how to behave.

The average American consumes over 28 pounds of bananas each year. Let’s get off bananas!

Z – I feel like bananas are always around they’re very plentiful.

W – We could fit the entire human race in New Zealand if we lived as densely as Manhattan.

S – Wow. I would’ve thought it would’ve been smaller actually.

W – What’s the density of Manhattan?

S – Dense. Very dense!

W – I like this one: Sarcasm has been proven to make you smarter and more creative.  I love a bit of sarcasm!

Z – I love sarcasm. I feel like sarcasm shows a degree of emotional intelligence.

W – I agree with you!

S – I think that shows the opposite.

W – I think if it’s tempered just right.

Z – Right if it’s too cynical then it gets lost.

W – Banging your head against a wall burns up to 150 calories per hour. That’s not a fkking fact, that’s just stupid!

Laughs oh how we laughed!

W – This is interesting: Bilinguals can be dyslexic in one language but not the other.

Z – That’s interesting.

S – I would not have expected that but I believe it tho. Your language constructs are very different. 

W – Heroin was originally sold as cough medicine.

S – Wasn’t it like the methadone to get people off morphine addiction? It was heroin that saved morphine addiction!

Z – Can you overdose on methadone?

S – I don’t think so. I think it satisfies your addiction but gives you the minimal amount of pleasure.

Z – Chances that a harpist has back problems: 3 in 4.

That’s not a big one.

W – Madonna demands a new toilet seat at every gig on every leg of her tour. It must be wrapped in plastic to prove it’s new.

S – You know that’s not that crazy!

W – Is that your rider is it?!

S – The amount of production costs on one of those shows.

Z – That’s such a weird thing to have to think about. Every time she’s like ‘oh my god, it’s not wrapped in plastic. They didn’t put the plastic on it!’ Seems ridiculous.

S – She probably just gets her tour manager to do it.

W – When you’re 31 years old, you’ll live your billionth second!

S – That’s a nice way to visualise a billion.

W – 62’s my next one. My 2 billionth.

S – It makes you think about a trillion.

W – What’s a trillion then?

S – 1000 million. So if you live 31,000 years then you’d get to your trillion seconds.

W – I think Ill prob make it to 2 billion not much further

S – Knock on wood.

W – Nice well Ill just leave you with one more.

Prostitution has been observed in penguins and chimpanzees.

Z – What?

S – It could be for trade. Would it be like, Ill sleep with you for that coconut.

W -The first documented case of prostitution in penguins was recorded in 1998.  So there you go back to sex again started and end