Paypal Seek To Replace Passwords With Brain Chips


In a fine piece of cyborg dystopian news, Jonathon LeBlanc – Paypal's head of development (his actual title is one of those strange wonk speak phrases that means nothing to anyone – "development advocacy" or some such madness) – has been hitting various tech conferences to give his t'uppence worth on future security technologies. LeBlanc's big buzz is pushing technology forward to “true integration with the human body.” YES that's right he wants us to become THE TERMINATOR. Probably. According to Wall Street Journal,

"Leblanc said that identification of people will shift from “antiquated” external body methods like fingerprints, toward internal body functions like heartbeat and vein recognition, where embedded and ingestible devices will allow “natural body identification.”

"These devices include brain implants and attachable computers, which “put users in charge of their own security,” he said. Ingestible devices could be powered by stomach acid, which will run their batteries, he added."

What? So you're saying password1234 ain't good enough anymore, huh? LeBlanc went on to talk about thin silicon chips that could be embedded under the skin, or security 'pills' that could be eaten to detect a bodies glucose levels as a way of identification.

Obviously we're all for anything that saves us from the onerous task of using our crappy old brains to remember a short string of numbers and letters, so welcome the idea of faceless corporations injecting us with brain chips that we only vaguely understand. There's definitely, absolutely no way that the system will be exploited to create armies of technozombie shop-a-holics dully clicking 'buy' to receive tiny jolts of endorphin pleasure from their wafer thin lobe chips. Because why would anyone want that? (*adjusts tin foil hat*)