Asking For A Friend #14

In a week where there's been plenty to moan about, you're probably looking for something to lighten up your life before you head into the weekend. In totally unrelated news, the latest batch of Mitch Davis's questions from his wonderful friend are in. So lets kick off with a request inspired my Mr Putin's above antics'

Where can I buy an invisible tandem from? Asking for a friend.

If the Guardian use your photo without permission, can you get it removed? Asking for a friend.

Is this ok to wear to Farr Festival this weekend? Asking for a friend.

If I buy my own tracks on Beatport 350 times, will I get in the charts? Asking for a friend.

If you've had zero likes on your Tinder account after three months, should you change your photo? Asking for a friend. (No, it isn't me… – Ciaran)

How do you get a real life girlfriend that's not imaginary? Asking for a friend.

Can you get new cowboy boots on the NHS? Asking for a friend.

Was Sean Connery's real name Omar Sharif? Asking for Fox News.

If I had a $50,000,0000 fortune and I've lost it all, am I a bit of a div? Asking for a friend of a friend of 50 Cent.

Is this ok to wear to Spearmint Rhino? Asking for a friend.

Where's all the acid, DMT and psilocybin reviews on Trip Advisor? Can only see hotels and shit. Asking for a friend.

How do you remove duct tape from someone's eyes without taking off their eyebrows? Asking for a friend.

Will the bin men take this? Asking for a friend.

Am I a bad parent? Asking for a friend.

Could you get away with using a photo from a few years back for your online dating profile pic? Asking for a friend.

Mitch Davis can be found running Numb Magazine among other things.