R$N Christmas

Art & Culture

“Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.”
Bart Simpson

Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.Tom Sims

“People have enough crap in their lives without us contributing to it each Xmas, surely the only acceptable gift these days is to fill someone else’s brain with words on a printed page…” Heinrich Hoffheimer McGinty

“As the year began, no one knew who Nick Clegg was. If, in January, a researcher had stopped you in the street, shown you his picture and asked who he was, you’d probably have guessed he was a Dutch newsreader or the bloke who invented Jenga.” Charlie Brooker

“I’ve declared war on Rupert Murdoch.” VC

“Next week will be our end of year round-up. If you have any highlights please get in touch… even if it was some R$N random linkage!” R$N

As the light falls on the last day that I’m sat in front of this computer for (hopefully) a week, I almost detect a warm glow of xmas cheer within me… yes, that’s right folks (Americanisms excused, it’s xmas ((note the double americanism, in fact, can you do double brackets, i think not but it is xmas so let’s give it a go eh?)) after all), R$N has finally decided that Christmas is indeed here and he’s allowed to enjoy himself for a bit.

I have to say, my lack of ‘Xmas Shopping’ (check me capitalisation ((not a word according my spell-check, double caps again. should it actually be – check my capitalisation – ??)) of shopping) has contributed to a rather stress-free build up so far… but this computer’s also contributed to my complete negation of Xmas fever. Tonight I will close said electrical life-sapper, get on a train in the morning and hurtle into ridiciulously late pre-xmas shopping freak-out. Still, least I’m only buying books this year… tis the only way to ensure one’s guilt complex is acquitted.

Check the Winter Solstice last night? Means it’s officially half a year to my bday too… which means half a year to actual warmth!

Dear Santa, over the next week I would like there to be enough snow for me to a) build an igloo and b) wax up me old sledge and take it up a very large hill. I would also like the bruises to show if that is possible.

Now is it time for Milliband to actually step out the shadows and actually say something? In fact, let’s dispense with politics & weather… seems to be all we’ve banged on about for the past month… instead why not turn our attention the TV listings over this festive of seasons of stevens of xmas pudding. We ain’t got no digital down me ma’s… she won’t get it there till 2012… in which case I’m going to round up the utter shizzle we get given on the 4 (can’t even get ch. 5) channels we are offered:

Christmas Eve
8.00 – You’ve Been Framed – Christmas! Harry Hill watches some Christmas Catastrophes.
10PM – The Holiday – House Swap Rom Com with Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jack Black & Jude Law
10.55PM Gavin & Stacey Xmas Special (Repeat) – Festive Edition of the comedy from 2008
11.15PM – The National Lottery: 25 Christmas Millionaires
11.50PM – Chris Moyles Christmas Quiz Night

Christmas Day
6pm – Emmerdale – It’s Chas & Carl’s Wedding
7pm Top Gear
8pm – I have to say I’m completely torn between Dad’s Army (Repeat apparently) & All Star Family Fortunes with teams from This Morning & Emmerdale… it’s a toughie.
10pm – Alan Carr: Tooth Fairy Live
11.05pm – Jamie’s Christmas Lock-In

Boxing Day
6.55pm – 100 Greatest Toys with Jonathan Ross – A countdown of the nation’s favourite games, gadgets & gizmos
8pm – Top Gear
8.30pm – Eastenders or Harry Hill’s Best of Christmas TV Burp followed by at
9pm – Benidorm
10pm – Alan Carr – Chatty Man with Chris Evans
and then what I’ve been waiting for all year @
10.15pm – Love Actually – Interlinked tales of several people in search of love.

Done… Ransom Note, we’ve got Christmas TV wrapped up!

Right then, I’m off for pint of Foster’s and a doner… Xmas party a-go-go ransom note style.

I’ll leave you briefly with these in no particular order… what, Wil you mean you have an order to other things you do?:

Digital History of Xmas

Snowmen in blood shocker

Stuck for that final xmas present for mum and dad? Give them a tech support package

Piano Stairs

Repent Sinners

Secret stash over the festive season.

Destroyed Apple Products – what I would very much like to do with my iphone.

A drug that could give you perfect visual memory.

Wow, great milk trick

Early 1900s… in colour

But I digress… go enjoy all that some time away from all this nonsense offers you.

Cheers all that made it down on Saturday to our Xmas party, was a lot of fun… what I remember of it… I didn’t play Wham again did I?! Happy Christmas and let’s have a catch up next week for all our New Year plans and a round up of the year. If you have any highlights of this year please get in touch… could just be some R$N random nonsense that’s tickled yer… yer… brussell sprout!


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