Beaty Heart Cola
I heard that master puppeteer Giuseppe had moved to the lysergic heart of South London. Hes been working away at creating a brand new Pinochio. As I have it, on good authority Ill have you know, hes planning to staple 60s press shots of a grinning Brian Wilson to the Pinnochios little felt face, so the wooden chap will always have a smile. The arms and legs will be crafted from broken casio parts and therell be a big round drum where the belly should go. Apparently Giuseppes going to make a whole bunch of these fine creatures, and put them in a band called Beaty Heart. There theyll go on to produce glorious soaring clockwork kerfuffles on indeterminate instruments, songs that occasionally spill over into a rage against having a constant sunny disposition, before suddenly realising that actually, when youre sternum is made of a sampler, everything isnt so bad after all. In 5 years or so everyone else in England will realise that they sound a bit like an excellent English response to Animal Collective and theyll get packaged off to Pleasure Island where they may or may not turn into cigar smoking donkeys. The end.