Beaty Heart Cola


I heard that master puppeteer Giuseppe had moved to the lysergic heart of South London. Hes been working away at creating a brand new Pinochio. As I have it, on good authority Ill have you know, hes planning to staple 60s press shots of a grinning Brian Wilson to the Pinnochios little felt face, so the wooden chap will always have a smile. The arms and legs will be crafted from broken casio parts and therell be a big round drum where the belly should go. Apparently Giuseppes going to make a whole bunch of these fine creatures, and put them in a band called Beaty Heart. There theyll go on to produce glorious soaring clockwork kerfuffles on indeterminate instruments, songs that occasionally spill over into a rage against having a constant sunny disposition, before suddenly realising that actually, when youre sternum is made of a sampler, everything isnt so bad after all. In 5 years or so everyone else in England will realise that they sound a bit like an excellent English response to Animal Collective and theyll get packaged off to Pleasure Island where they may or may not turn into cigar smoking donkeys. The end.

Ian Mcquaid