View From The Side: Tinder


Most people toy with the idea of tinder – there’s the appeal of the unknown and the hilarity of so much choice… But increasingly there’s a sadder side to tinder, an effect spreading which is tainting a generation’s psyche, affecting how people are interacting day to day and I for one struggle to bear the cringe that surrounds it.

I’ve downloaded the app twice, the first time bemused & overjoyed at the prospect of shopping for men, inanely assuming I had the pick of the bunch. Well really the bunch is not so appealing – namely they’re on tinder in the first place. There really is a certain calibre of character on an app like this. Those signed up are there to judge on first appearance, seeking acceptance, approval, or more likely just a laugh and a shag. In theory this is doesn’t have to be damaging, even if the conversations are contrived and the results worthless. So I deleted, but downloaded again, determined that there must be something behind this hype. Upon a second revision, I was even more dismayed at the quality of human, and decided to no longer make my judgements based on 4-5 select images of a person and their painfully transparent attempt at banal conversation.

The problem with Tinder is that people are suddenly disposable, dismissible – and if that’s not a sudden but more a pre-existing issue, then Tinder is the petrol on an already ugly fire. It’s far from newsworthy that we’re a society perpetually judging on appearance, but now it’s as fickle as a glance and an app encouraging ego-driven decisions – a swipe of rejection or a swipe of approval. And herein lies the crux of it; here’s sat a bunch of up-for-it creatures, searching and judging passively. How many dates or conversations are successful? The only guy I personally know who got anything decent out of the app also got a psycho and in due course he swiftly disembarked the Tinder train.

In a world where the digital age is taking over the physical, Tinder exemplifies the dangerously immediate transience of interest, encouraging an unhealthy psyche that humans are disposable, laughable – when in reality you are being dismissed countless times yourself. Without wishing to be controversial, let’s face it, the ‘ugly’ ones you screenshot and send your friends are probably a thousand times kinder than you. You may feel secure in your decisions, but really this façade is not sustainable as far as nurturing individuals. You, on Tinder, lose touch with the fact that in reality you – like everyone else – have the capacity to love & be loved. Tinder does not fit into this equation; rather it probes a quick & cheap judgement and sits perfectly with all the things wrong with human interaction these days.

I’ve never been one for dating websites; I’m fortunate enough to socialise with wonderful people old & new on a weekly basis. Granted, I appreciate some people don’t have time to go out and meet new people – but if you have time to sit there, swiping, then you have time to develop some balls and become an accomplished human that doesn’t deem tinder a positive pastime. Then again – you’re in that bracket, perhaps you ought to stay put.

This View from the Side was bought to you by the spectacular Sophie G James, who can be followed on twitter here