Drinking Problems #01

Like any good friend, here at R$N we’re here for you to support you through the dark times and point you towards the finer undiscovered aspects to improve your otherwise irrelevant life. If you’re anything like me and the 8.3 million overworked, flowered up, weekend chasing, underpaid youth in London town; you must have a drinking problem – and why the hell not! Let’s celebrate what we in the UK are actually good at for once!

Drinking problems in our society is generally looked down upon, but at R$N we think our adoration of the finest dancing fuel should be rejoiced. So welcome to our world of drinking problems, bringing you the best in new bar, restaurant and pop up launches. We’ll bring you our ‘Txt Mess-a-gin a bottle’ monthly choice of our favourite 40% or over tipple. Each month you can e-mail in your questions to a bottle of booze and we’ll ask away.

Kicking off proceedings, our primary ramblings begin with ‘the’ biggest global sporting event only a day away, The World Cup in Brazil begins with the opening ceremony and Brazil vs Croatia. We’ve pulled together the best places to watch the biggest games and avoid them gnarly Eng-ur-lund fans. 

Fat Ronaldo's

Looking across the smoke we start East with the gloriously named 'Fat Ronaldo's World Cup Pop Up', 347-349 Old Street, EC1V 9LP – open 7 days a week from 4pm – 2am. 

Drumming up a samba style atmosphere, enjoy BIG screen HD action from the comfort of your deckchair under the tropical palm trees of Carlton's Palm-er Bar (brilliant!), sipping on ice-cold cocktails and beers. The late license beach bar will serve never-ending Bocho Loco Caipirinha’s, a tiki rum bar from the fun loving Plantation Rum guys, beer cocktails, Pimms Jugs and ice cold draft beer from our friends at Drinksmith.

R$N friends and East London street food favourite Smokey Tails BBQ are serving up their famous Messi Burgers, think pulled pork, 8hr slow cooked beef brisket – suitable for any Fat Ronaldo. Look out for DJ Seth Troxler popping up to get behind the grill or decks as he’s been known to do so in the past such as at last summer's pop-up in Hackney Wick. 

Enjoy vintage game re-runs and Escape To Victory screenings to rejuvenate your national pride after England’s impending exit in (at best) the quarter finals. Expect a hotbed of East London latino hotties with samba and steel drums, Diego’s powder room willl be a hot-bed of discussion for the summer's transfer gossip for the ladies and sulking blokes outside because the ladies have probably over-powdered their nose.  

Open day to day, the space is fitted with super fast WiFi and will play vintage re-runs of World Cup classics from over the years. Swap your silver Van Persie doubles for Balotelli in London’s only Panini sticker swap shop. The resurrection in popularity of fans favourite Panini sticker books will see a World Cup sticker swap shop for all you big kids out there who can’t afford their monthly vinyl blowout.

Booking on bookings@fatronaldos.com.

Guanabara

If you’re looking for a little more of an authentic Brazilian experience and, like me, know that there’s more chance of Stevie Gerrard winning the league than England a World Cup, head down to London's best Brazilian hang-out Guanabara. Throughout the year, thousands of Brazilian, very beautiful, ex-pats descend on Guanabara and consume their bodyweight in Caipirinha’s and samba their souls away. Expect more of the same here. This really is the taste of Brazil as Guanabara will be screening every Brazil match and most England matches, re-creating a Brazilian carnival spirit with live entertainment from samba dancers, capoeira performers, football freestylers, and other Brazilian entertainment – with 6 large screens & 2 60’ LED screens projecting all the action and amazing surround sound, Guanabara promises to be one of the best places to enjoy the World Cup this side of Rio.

All other matches will be screened in the bar areas boasting London’s first ‘silent football‘ viewing experience. Yep, that’s right – get your very own set of headphones and this way you still get to enjoy the game and party with your friends thereafter. Their site calls it “a genius idea”, I’m not so sure. It might be good for a bit of comedy viewing for those without headphones. It’s the football equivalent of a Hot Creations glam raving with wrap-around Oakleys or diamond encrusted Carrera’s. It wants to be something but just falls short and can’t compare to full surround sound surely? Either way this is a great place to watch all the incredibly beautiful latinas… I mean football.

Bookings on worldcupevents@guanabara.co.uk.

Aussie Alternatives

Finally, our no go area. Luckily for us our lovely Aussie friends they have arguably the tournament's hardest group and so won’t get past the first round, but if you do want to watch the Dutch, Chilean and Spanish mauling’s of Australia try your usual favourites of Belushi’s, Walkabout and anywhere in Clapham. (Slowly tip-toing away…) Fat Ronaldos are also giving free thongs to all the East London Aussie, inevitably starting a new trend with masses wearing their thongs as actual thongs, giving off that torture garden rubber pouch vibe. Enjoy! 

Txt Mess-a-gin a bottle

Here’s the first of our monthly review of our favourite over 40% tipples. We start this month with Bulldog Gin. E-mail drinkingproblems@theransomnote.co.uk to ask next months bottle Gin Mare about his exploits in Ibiza last summer. Do your worst!

Q, Bulldog Gin, are u as the name suggest a rough, tough proposition?
A, No at all I’m light, soft and fruity on the palate. 

Q,Where are you from?
A, From up’t north in Warrington. Plastic scouse, Plastic Manc. Gin is the rougher of all the spirits.

Q,What’s your favourite chooon?
A, Gin Nation – Tiger & Woods

Q, Most embarrassing moment? 
A, Mixing up cocktails downstairs in the Berghein, that would make the stiffest of boozers blush. 

Q, Favourite cocktail?
A, You big flirt! Has to be a dirty martini. 3 of them and I’m anybody's.

Bulldog Dirty Martini

Ingredients

70ml Bulldog gin
1 tbsp dry vermouth
2 tbsp olive brine
1 wedge of lemon
1 green olive

Preparation method

Pour the vodka, dry vermouth and olive brine into a cocktail shaker with a handful of ice and shake well.
Rub the rim of a martini glass with the wedge of lemon.
Strain the contents of the cocktail shaker into the glass and add the olive.