This Week… Sexy Brexit.
"We already miss you. Thank you and goodbye." – Donald Tusk
“I don’t have no favorite rock bands. I’m a fan of rock music though.” – DJ Khaled
"You have mosquitos. I have the press." – Prince Philip
Royal Britannia, Britannia rules the waves. C'mon, sing along guys? No? Hmmm.
If, like us, you continue to be perplexed by the not so United Kingdom and those upon our shitty little island fear not because at least we kept our pie and mash. Pie and mash is great, who needs foreigners when you can have British meat in British pastry alongside British mashed potato in a greasy spoon. Britain, YEAH!
Anyway, moving swiftly on, this week Philip Schofield walked across a bridge. Really, he did. Apparently this was an iconic moment in Britain's rebellion against Islamic terrorism. I bet ISIS are fucking shitting themselves.
A British landlord this week decided to stop letting his properties to coloured people because they smell of curry, apparently. Does this mean I have to eat my korma in the garden from now on? Discuss.
The sun came back. Then it went away again. Blame foreigners.
Cristiano Ronaldo was reincarnated as a tin man in Madeira who has now been named Niall Quinn, no sign of a lion or scarecrow as of yet though.
In other news…