This Week... Romance, Toddlers And Tonka In Private Eye

Commentary

"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." – M Twain

"You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later." – M Hedberg

"Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present, Man Not Caring." – P Cox

"I have so many websites; I have them all over the place." – President Trump

"Yes, I rolled up a little something. I knocked the edge off." – President West

Rather than me just bringing you the best things I've found on the internet this week, we're getting our writers to bring you some of their weekly highlights. Don't worry, I've thrown in some ridiculous nonsense at the end just in case you were worried.

But before any of that, please just do your bit and do something good. Oh, and don't be this rancid creature.

We're very proud of our Tonka for making it into the ol' Private Eye.

Story time ladies and gents, courtesy of our very own Harriet Allen;

"On the last night at Shambala I saw a young lad in a tracksuit, pilled/ketted up to the eyeballs, propped up by his girlfriend, piss himself in a music tent, like a full on jet of piss spilling out of his trousers. They looked each other in the eyes for a minute or so like they were understanding the gravity of the situation, and then went back to getting with each other."

How romantic…

Now for a bit of serious from Miles 'Thunder' Simpson:

"How, in a week when we found out the governments back to work policies have killed 4000 people and wondered how the people running our country, can have such a lack of empathy, this research shines an interesting light on our leaders upbringing?"

He's referring to this and these two;

Heavenly Jukebox ft. The Big JC…

Absolute mind bender. Heavenly Jukebox ft Jeremy Corbyn!! Joined us for a quick speech last tune of our set #carnival pic.twitter.com/zBYlpNR27u

— Heavenly Jukebox (@HeavenlyJukebox) August 30, 2015