This Week… Cucumbers, Gun Reform And A Missing Man Turns Up 2,500 Miles Away


"Love is a smoke and is made with the fume of sighs." – W. Shakespeare

"I think some people recognize my butthole before they recognize my face.” – B. Starr

"Guns don't kill people, rappers do" – G. Lookin Chain

If I have to compile another This Week with more of the same old outrageous, provocative, exhausting and cockamamie content covering the incompetent politicians, toupe heads of state and brexiteers of this god-damn world we live in called life….*deep breath*… then it wouldn’t be a very good This Week would it you mugs. I feel like you’re really getting on now, you and I. Don’t you agree? This fleeting connection we have through the medium of the internet is something really special. Do you agree? Does it matter? What are you wearing? Send your clothes to us on info@theransomnote.clothes


Actually, today's round up is pretty short and there is nothing about brexit. If that's what you come here for then there'll be none of that today I can tell you. I have just told you.

A man went missing in a ski resort in New York and was found six days later in California still dressed in his ski gear. "At this point we want to assist Danny in getting back the last six days of his life and we ask that no one jump to any conclusions," said a New York State policeman. Impossible.

The soon to be human’s best friend has arrived.


The soon to be human’s best friend has arrived.

Oxfam’s code of conduct issued in 2006 “strongly discouraged” field workers from using prostitutes but said the practice was not banned “because we cannot infringe on people’s civil liberties, and we know it would be impractical to think we could enforce a total ban.”


An actual hero below

An then actual cunt below

Thankfully, Trump blamed the shooting on America’s outdated gun laws DID HE FUCK. It took Trump more than 20 hours to make public remarks after a former student, armed with an AR-15 rifle, killed 17 people and injured 14 others in Parkland. Barack Obama, by contrast, spoke less than six hours after the 2012 shooting of 20 children and six adults at Sandy Hook elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut.

One, Two yo face my shoe,
My name is Mike Balls and I'm comin through,
Gun crimes, stabbin, and burglarisation,
Its on a rise all across the nation,
The safety's off and the pistol is aimed,
Yardies and the Mafia always get blamed,
Politicians are shamed, and they haven't got a clue,
Rap is more deadly than fucking Kung-Fu

Love was in the air all over social media. Real love. Did you fall in love, were you already in love, have you been betrayed, are you a cheat, did you have sex, were you hugged, did you buy a card, did you receive a card, did you get enough likes on your instagram photo? Hopefully all of the above.

Did you buy a cucumber for Valentine's Day?

He he he


71 Dead. And still no arrests. How come?

It's actually really hard to segway between news, I hope you know.

Yes, fam. Don't go out tonight, save your dosh and join us here in BERLIN next month.

Don't save your money tonight. Buy the new C.A.R. album HERE HERE HERE HERE

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