Random Slices #14



Increasingly random, these random slices – here comes Wil with the straight jacket and tranquelizer gun….
William Burroughs at October Gallery
The big man of the beat movement was best known for his writing and being the sort of godfather of the scene, but he also dabbled in other art forms: audio through his use of the cut up technique and various (predominantly awful, it has to be said) musical collaborations and also, painting and drawing. Burroughs’ art isn’t very good in a technical sense, but it does provide a fascinating insight into the madness and wit of one of the great creative minds of the last century. Canvases come riddled with bullet holes, smeared with indecipherable fluids and feature naive/nightmarish figures and scenes. A seasonal treat!
Bunga Bunga Art Classes 
Silvio Berlusconi has given us so much over the years. A bold leader with upstanding humanitarian principles only mildly compromised by his mouth frothing fascism and searing megalomaniac tendencies. He even introduced a new expression into the lexicon: The Bunga Bunga party. I wonder if he ever got to meet Jimmy Saville? Anyway, Bunga Bunga is such a popular term now that there is even a bar in Battersea that borrows the name – Bunga Bunga is described as ‘An Englishman’s Italian Bar’ which sounds a bit like an excuse for serving pizza with a spam and faggot topping. Anyway, they’re warming to their theme and in January will be putting on Uncle Silvio’s Bunga Bunga Life drawing sessions, where members of the public can pay to go and have sex with, sorry I meant to say draw, under age prostitutes. Or have I missed something? Anyway, I’m in, obviously, see you there?
What every child will find out eventually (If you’re under 5 look away now) Santa is a CON! 
There are no reindeers, no elves, no fucking grotto’s. It’s make believe, idiots. Grow up, there’s a recession on, go out and earn your keep up a chimney and stop scrounging off the parental state, you miniature benefit cheats. You, the under 5’s, we’ve got our eyes on you, you lazy shits! Sorry, bit of interference from the 2013 Conservative party national debt recovery strategy coming in there. When not writing random slices, I write George Osborne’s speeches. Sometimes I come to work with the wrong head on, it’s easy to do.
Santacon is where everyone dresses up as Santa and goes on a massive bender round central London. I don’t know why you’d want to get involved, unless of course (under 5’s look away now) you were a criminal and you wanted to commit a crime. You catch my drift? You follow me? I’ll see you outside the bank of England, dressed as Santa. Bring the dynamite, I’ll take care of the rest.