Asking For A Friend #53

There is always that one bloke in the pub who thinks out loud. Who asks the questions which pop into his head almost immediately, he has little filter and asks the questions that we all want to know the answers to. His name is Mitch Davis and this is Asking For A Friend.

Is this balearic? 
Asking for a friend.

Anyone looking for a flat mate in the Ipswich area? Must be a dog lover.
Asking for a friend.

If your girlfriend says 'you'll look like a darts player in that', should you not buy it?
Asking for a friend.

Can I have a new human please? 
Asking for a mortified dog.

Is this a good look for night shoplifting in Tesco? 
Asking for a friend.

Where's a good dogging spot in Welwyn Garden City?
Asking for a friend.

Anyone want to buy a stolen BMW? 
Asking for a friend.

Anyone want to buy a mythical balearic elf?
Asking for a friend.