"Still don't believe me, Darwin?" - God
"Time is just a construct" - Buzz Lightyear
"Bird Box was pretty dece, wasn't it?" - Prince Philip
When neanderthals and denisovans were living their life, I doubt they could've imagined their evolution. Yeh, they were probably thinking about where their next meal was, or trying not to get gobbled up by a T-Rex, but some of this week's headlines would've sickened them, shocked them, and seriously made them question whether the T-Rex option was the best for future generations.
I think evolution may have skipped this homo sapien.
Someone else was clearly inspired too.
I'd rather see the word kindness painted onto a bedroom wall in one of those horrendously optimistic quote things than etched onto a Floridian man's machete. Or would I?
Pétanque's a fairly primitive 'sport' on the surface, throwing balls at other balls. I guess our ancestors can relate to this next headline more easily.
When these geezers told their unassuming partners they were off to have a boules session, they really meant it.
Some fish are friends, others are food. Sorry Bruce. These mofuckas must have a death wish!
She one thicc, C H O N K mumma
ONE OF THE BIGGEST!!
Another tough one to explain to our most distant ancestors would be the World Record egg. I'd give it a crack, though.
It's Always Sunny Side Up In Philadelphia
There's now an egg attempting to break the World Record for retweets on Twitter. Social media really is a powerful tool, innit? Trying to keep up has fried my brain.
Anyway, Twitter has proven its worth yet again.
Back to reality now. Well, sort of.
A German-Namibian artist is challenging time through music. Installing a solar powered system into the Namibian desert, Max Siendentopf is hoping Toto's Africa will play for ever and ever.
If it rains, won't those speakers break?
Wrap your undeveloped, pre-historic brains around that one, you neanderthal fucks!