Today could well mark the beginning of a brighter chapter for London’s nightlife as the night tube hurtles thousands of smashed revellers around the city for the very first time this weekend. Sadiq Khan has seemingly kept his promise to London clubs and their punters after we had almost lost hope. Eight years of his shambolic predecessor’s blasé bulldozing of anything remotely interesting, there is finally light at the end of the tunnel.
Never again will you have to navigate the mindfuck that is the Uber app at 4am after spontaneously necking an ecstasy pill the size of a suppository, leaving you completely devoid of common sense and with severely impaired vision. Gone are the days where you accidently book a Uber Lux for £90 for a trip from Camberwell to Hackney.
Or, worse yet, you mistakenly book an Uberpool and reluctantly make peace with idea, only to end up doing a grand tour of Walthamstow squashed between three drunken 18 year olds who deem it appropriate to question a lone female about their stance on anal sex. This was shortly before asking if I would interested in coming back to theirs to do some non-specific white powder one of them found on the floor off a dancefloor in Peckham.
Or there's the one where your Uber driver locks the doors at the end of your journey and repeatedly demands to know why you don't want to be 'friends'
Whether the night tube offers a more pleasant travelling experience begs the question. If night buses are anything to go by, it could be a horror show of all manner of cretinous behaviour ahead. Best to stay optimistic in that you’ll probably be hearing a lot more interesting stories from now on.
So, in celebration, we’ve compiled a list of clubs and the tube stations that are within walking distance of them, to aid you in fulfilling what we imagine is a newly invigorated desire for debauchery.
Phonox, Electric- Brixton
Manor House Warehouses (for off the grid North London warehouse raving)- Finsbury Park
Styx Bar- Tottenham Hale
The Yard, Bloc and Stour Space in Hackney wick- Stratford
Hackney Wick Warehouses (For off the grid East London warehouse raving) - Stratford
Oval Space, Pickle Factory, Metropolis- Bethnal Green
XOYO, Village Underground- Liverpool Street
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