Tiana

Music

iOK people, we need to sort some things out. Ive been looking at the UK chart and frankly Im appalled. This week my reviews are going to be entirely based on comparing songs from Jamaicas top 20 with whatever woeful counterpoint we have clogging up the airwaves here in Blighty.

Rising 3 places to number 11 is Tiana, with a track written in response to a fairly misogynistic number from the MC Konshens. Over a bouncing old skool bashment beat, Tiana asserts that shes not the easy lay Konshens claims women to be, she cant be bought off for a bottle of champagne, and shes basically not goin to take any shit. Everywhere Ive played this out recently has gone bananas, its easily the most infectious tune Ive heard from the dancehall charts for a while, and one that I think will continue to rise. In a fair world itd have a chance of breaking into the UK charts. We as a country have a far deeper relationship with Jamaican music than we do with Swedish, so its with great shock that I see Swedish House Mafia sprawling at 11 in our line up. Heres some lyrics from Save the Worlds teutonic trance-by-numbers—

We’re far from home, it’s for the better
What we dream, it’s all that matters
We’re on our way, united

Turn the crowd up now, We’ll never back down
Shoot down a skyline, watch it in primetime

Now I dont know about you, but this feels to me like some sort of hideous day glo Hitler Youth rave experiment. Yep, George Orwell was right. Our future is a boot stamping on a humans face. He just didnt realise itd be stamping along to SHM.