Ellie Goulding


Tricky one this. My ears have teamed up with my instincts in deciding that Ellie Goulding is some kind of horse-jawed Home Counties Salome prancing around blogosphere carrying the severed head of Actual Music on a platter made of nylon guitar strings and hate. But you know record labels are slippery fuckers, and they have the magical power of The Remix to dress any old filthy tramp up in finery. I suspect they werent planning on this un being a hit, but a hit it is none the less, as Jakwob has tethered a warheads worth of sublow wub wub to the old nag, drenched her vocals in reverb, given it a load of ocean deep drops, and somehow come up from the shit fields smelling of daisies. Fair play to the lad. I hope he gets a lot of money for making her look credible.

Ian Mcquaid