bargain bin #3: wild wild west


Bargain Bin #3

Lets spin this weeks Wheel of Bargain Bin Misfortune: shtckshtckshtckshtckshtck shtck shtck shtckshtckshtck shtck. Ding ding ding. Sweet Jesus, do we have a winner this time, folks!

Such is my excitement at having sourced this disc that Im struggling to concoct a sarcastic introduction, so I wont. Its Will Smiths Wild Wild West Soundtrack, from Youve guessed it! 1999s very floppy steampunk-comedy-thriller-adventure-western, Wild Wild West. 

However, when I state soundtrack it truthfully translates to a three track EP of sorts, which Im sure cocksure, if you will is one of many that I peeled off the front of numerous cereal boxes fourteen years prior. Somewhere, along that fourteen year timeline, I shed my collection and moved on to altogether more adult and horrifyingly less fun things. 

Its all changed now, though. I can finally get my life back on track. 


Track 1 Wild Wild West

Unh, Wikki-wah-wah, wikki-wikki-wah, wikki-wah, wikki-wikki-wah-wah-wild west

Smiths loveable, nonsensical phonetic introduction is not only mindblowing in its own right, but also powerful enough to summon forth samples of Stevie Wonder and Kool Moe Dee to create a fantastic jazzy keyboard/guitar effort. I mean it, its fantastic.

The track does incorporate a strange feel, however, as certified Good Guy Smith, in his own charming way, adheres to genre traditions of asserting his success with the opposite sex and his gun. 

Pitchforks down, please. Our beloved Jim West sidesteps (with a twirl and flourish) the angry mobs when revealing the gun in question as none another than his gimmicky, plastic six-shooter, strapped to his hip. Still, the man may be cutting some elegant shapes but You dont wanna see my hand where my hip be at


Track 2 Gettin Jiggy Wit It

Woo! Unh, unh, unh, unh, ha-ha, ha-ha! What, what, what, what, unh

A track that, surely, needs no introduction.

Gettin Jiggy Wit It represents one of those regular impasses in adult life, wherein you immediately decipher every word, symbol or number to really be some sort of inconspicuous bit of sexual innuendo. 

Im afraid not, though. The track is, thankfully this was directed at kids, remember, lacking in any subject matter shadier than a man who likes to dance. It also perfectly showcases the style of Smiths, often parodied, family-friendly lyricism:

Everybody lookin at me, glancing the kid/Wishin they was dancin a jig/Here with this handsome kid/Cigar-cigar right from Cuba-Cuba/I just bite it, its for the look, I dont light it

How can you fault a songwriter who blithely rhymes kid with kid? You cant.

Although, constant background samples of the earlier (and now iconic) Ahas over the main track go a long way to advertise Smith as being perfect for a double identity drama role. 

N.B. If I see this happen in the next few years, Ill know it was one of you who stole it.


Track 3 Big Willie Style

[Sensual female voice]

Unh This one goes out to all the big Willies

Perhaps I jumped the gun on the innuendo claim. 

Lest we forget his prior existence as the indefatigable Fresh Prince, Big Willie Style hits us with copious references to Smiths enjoying an evening of Vegas gambling and automobile flirting. Innocent enough, at surface level

Aside from that, the track bestows one monumentally powerful hope in me: that once the bloated, shambling, undead prance of Gangnam Style comes to its ungodly, and long over-due, curtain call, global culture will take a backwards shift and spread its arms for Big Willie Style

Now how we do it?/(You know its Big Willie style, baby)/ Now how we doin it?/ (You know its Big Willie style)

Anyone other than the Fresh Prince, and Id say he was over-compensating for something maybe the terrible film.


Phil Wilson