Marshmallow Laser Feast: 10 Ways To Prepare Marshmallows

Robin McNicholas is creative director at Marshmallow Laser Feast, a creative studio exploring the line between virtual and real-world experiences. Headed by McNicholas and Barney Steel, their interests are routed in creating people-centred, live interactive work. They have directed experiences in collaboration with many brands, art institutions and acts across the musical spectrum. They are currently developing a broad range of VR experiences – check out one of their ace ideas here. You can see some photos taken at this year's Convergence Festival at Convergence Sessions, courtesy of Antonio Pagano, below.

Hot off the heels of their appearance at Convergence, we had Mr McNicholas and Mr Steel of MLF list us their 10 favourite ways to prepare marshmallows, of course. I loved the idea so I've had a go at analysing each of the options.

1) Served through a didgeridoo with a compressed laughing gas air jet

There are a handful of semi-dangerous offerings throughout this list but this opening gambit is one that'd probably manage to wangle its way onto my bucket list. Probably just about a DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME option, because didgeridoos are too expensive of course, you get a nice little shot of laughing gas served alongside your floaty treat. The practicalities of obtaining the equipment required may be a bit ropey but it seems rather fulfilling and worth a punt.

2) Served from a paintball gun to the face (do not try at home)

Stupidity. Pure stupidity. However, if you do it from a distance and you happen to be friends with someone who is a pretty good shot with a paintball gun then why the hell not? Sure, if you've ever been paintballing they tell you never to put a pellet that has hit the ground back into your gun because it'll jam but there's no clear guidance on putting in a sweet treat. Not that I want the R$N lawyers on my case but I reckon there are much more dangerous things you can do than this. Probably.

3) Microwaved (must be more than 6 at a time) and scoffed when piping hot (do not try at home)

I feel like these guys are the leaders I've been searching for throughout my life, I will follow them to the end of the world if it means getting a sextuplet of mallowy goodness into my mouth. Warm marshmallows can be a bit weird, texturally eating them can feel like you're sinking your teeth into a chunk of polystyrene if you let them cool even just a little, but if you make sure to gobble them up when they're piping hot then it'll be like there's a fire in your mouth and all the local firemen are invited. (Something about what I've written feels worryingly wrong…)

4) Served through a mescal hosepipe (try this one at home)

I don't know what a mescal hosepipe is and a quick search on that big ol' search machine didn't exactly help. I do know what a hosepipe is though and I reckon there's too much effort involved in sucking away at a hosepipe for several minutes (yes, I hear it too) when you could be doing something as awesome as…

5) Frozen with liquid nitrogen and smashed to smithereens – to be served at high altitude

OH YES! This is a must-try for any budding scientists out there – if that there Heston Blumenthal would give this a try, if he hasn't already, I'd be more than happy to get my noshers around a slice of frozen mallow. I'm not entirely sure I'd want to smash them to smithereens first, then again it does save from the intense pain that I would assume comes with biting down upon your frozen treat and having shards slice through your gums. Probably not the easiest to be sorted at home but if you've got access to science-y gubbins then do let me know and I'll come put my gums at risk.

6) Blended with helium for that high-pitch kick- served in a hot air balloon

Well where else would you want helium-infused mallows to be served? It seems only logical. I wonder if your voice would get the whole helium effect going on as you ate them. What would happen if a chunk got caught in the back of your throat for days? Would you be destined to talk like a chipmunk for a little while? On that risk alone, I'd say that this is a must-try – if only for the craic.

7) Foie gras style goosemallows

Probably too fancy for my liking, and truth be told I'm unsure how you would mallow up something like this, but if you do decide to give this one a go then please do make sure you're wearing a dinner jacket as anything else would be frighteningly unseemly. Maybe Jeeves from Ask Jeeves can help you out with this one, he doesn't seem to be doing much these days. His droll manner might just be enough to persuade you into doing this one, it's probably not that impossible. Right?

8) Freshly squeezed in an aerobic teacher's buttock cleavage served in a crêpe

Yes. So much yes, provided that the teacher is under strict instructions to keep their lycra on and refrain from letting out a cheeky SBD whilst the mallow nestles firmly between their cheeks. Would you need to add some sauce or cream to the crepe? Probably, you won't really be wanting to taste arse.

9) Served from a blow dart rainforest style (do not try at home)

I'm not sure that this is particularly different to the paintball gun, though I suppose the mallow would have to be packed in tighter to the dart – perhaps even sliced. Your biggest worry here is that if the friend you enlist to administer the darting was feeling a bit greedy they could 'accidentally' inhale the dart-homed treat, leaving you feeling slightly despondent and under-nourished. I've just clocked that they want it to be attached to the dart as well, maybe this is one to avoid unless you've got some kind of Penn & Teller trick up your sleeve. Don't eat darts kids, if that's the only thing I ever say that gets through to anyone then this will have all been worth it.

10) Marshmallow garland hole-punched with a powerful laser – to be munched on throughout the day

Sure, it's no liquid nitrogen, but a hole punch can be just as useful a tool when your budget is running low following all these other hair-brained schemes. However, the laser probably isn't going to be cheap – maybe ask the bloke you nabbed the liquid nitrogen from if he's got a spare laser lying around that he wouldn't mind you 'borrowing'. This is probably the most helpful long term solution but if, like me, you're a bit of a gannet when it comes to sweet things then you'll probably be better off using the laser for other purposes. Not world domination though, I DID NOT give you that idea.

Just when I thought there were no more ways to administer a shot of marshmallow the pair have even come up with a couple of extra alternatives that I'll let you mull over, any risk assessments you might have are more than welcome…

"We also love nipple pasties made from Marshmallows, these and marshmallow bobble hats are often the kind of wearable food people can enjoy in urban settings or rural environments.

"There're also legs in anvil-flat mallow wraps."

Find out more about the magnificent Marshmallow Laser Feast here.

Photos courtesy of Antonio Pagano.