Jarred Christmas Talks

Music

The dynamic award winning comedian Jarred Christmas, seen on 8 Out of 10 Cats and Arguemental, will be presiding over a motley crew of comedians at the hip hop comedy night Dong next Friday. Ahead of the night we delve into the heart of the man behind the dashing specs asking Christmas some hard hitting Paxman style questions…

Hip Hop karaoke song of choice?

The message by Grand master Flash

The best line from Hip Hop track?

"Smoked so much weed you wouldn't believe and I get more ass than a toilet seat"

Shake That by Eminem featuring Nate dogg

What would your hip hop superego name be?

J Christ Supastarr

Flavor Flav always wears a large clock around his neck. If you had a statement piece what would it be?

I would have a wrapped present box hanging around my neck that I keep dipping into and producing tiny bags of sweets to throw to the crowd.

Your recent show 'Let's Go MOFO' at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival featured a lot of dancing. What's your move of choice?

My move of choice is either the running man or a move I invented called the "Rodger Rabbit" I can also do the start of the caterpiller. only the start though.

Your website has a comic book superhero theme going on. What would be the one superhero power you'd love to have?

The ability to put my enemies in awkward, socially embarrassing moments. Like eating at wagamas and you accidentally help yourself to a strangers Edamame.

Or trying to open the door of a black cab, but the cabbie hasn't unlocked it yet. You try again but get the timing wrong. The cabbie says wait, the door makes the noise like its unlocked, you try again but its still locked. this goes on for an awkward minute then you finally get in and have to decide wether to acknowledge what just happened or move on like it never happened.

The best heckle you've ever heard?

"You have ruined my birthday"

The best come back to a heckle ever heard?

This is full on. I have used this once and it was a DEFCON 4 moment. My finger was hovering over the big red button to launch a PDM, a "Put Down Missile" that could not only destroy the heckler but me and the rest of the room as well. The kind of line that the crowd has to be 100% on your side and the heckler has to be 100% hated by the crowd. As I say, I've used it once.

"Mate your face reminds me of a cunt. I wanna put my fist in it"

It worked, but the elements have never fallen in place again for me to slam that one home again.

Got any good knock knock jokes?

Yes. You have to say this one out loud and pronounce it as its written.

knock knock

whos there?

Runeep

Runeep who?

You just said Runny poo.

YEAH! Take it! its yours now.

Catch Jarred Christmas at Richmix on Friday 21st September.

Buy tickets for Dong