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THROUGH THE EYES OF THE SPLIT PERSONALITYWILLIAMWASTEMAN, HERBAL GEORGE & MARJORIE R$N – top 8 of 2013

 
Commentary
Tis the season of the end of year list. Top 10 straight to box set DVDs. Top 1000 digital deep house labels. Etc. We’ve decided to go for Top 8 Whatevers. The Top 8 things of the year – be them bacon sandwiches; the top 8 times you stubbed your toe against the f*cking boxes full of useless sh*t your girlfriend insists on leaving in the hallway; and so on and so forth. Each week until the new year, we’ll be publishing the Top 8s of the various R$N scribes.
Here are the opinions of THREE, of you favourite regular columnists: Herbal George, Marjorie R$N and William Wasteman, counting down their top eight special moments from 2013…

8.

Herbal George: This tune deserve to be pumpin out at every godamn bar mitzvah in the whole cosmos. But try tellin that to Mr and Mrs Finklestein up in Stamford Hill. Back in April, I dropped the BOMB at their sons Bar Mitz expectin erbody to get loose, and instead them motherfuckers tol me they wanted somethin more traditional. Shit is from the SEVENTIES biatch! How you gunna tell me that aint traditional?!

7.

Marjorie R$N: When I saw this video I was absolutely ripped to the tits on GHB and by golly I was terrified. Then I actually realised that it wasnt real, and I laughed so hard that I almost ended up fornicating with my close friend Fairfax Rochester, before quickly realising that Mr Rochester is actually a fictional character in the classic gothic novel Jane Eyre. As a result of that sexually confused episode I am now a self confessed ant lover and am a member of several insect preservation societies.

William Wasteman: 2013 was a year of attempted friendships. I have felt like Astronaut Bill every day this year. I just wish more people out there were as accepting as an anthropomorphic blob.

See it in full here

5.
Herbal George: Go peep this documentary about these cats. They started punk. No lie.  I aint even into that shit but these dudes started punk before punk was punk. Before Sex Pistols an all that bullshit, these guys be crankin out the rawk jams. Check out the documentary on em released this year, youll be mildly surprised to learn that the only music you thought white folk invented was actually still invented by black people. Again.

4.

Marjorie R$N: I was going through a terribly torrid time around February when I saw this advert in the Daily Mail and thought Id give MDMA a try. By jove, what an absolute rip roaring time I had. I ended up calling Magic FM during Neil Foxs morning slot and confessing my undying love for Pat Sharp and his superb work compereing Fun House. Of course, Neil Fox was only too happy to listen, and in the end a rather splendid time was had by all. I think.

3.

William Wasteman: This tune reminds me of the absolute leviathan that was Sonar 2013. I didnt touch any of the Sonar festival, but all of the off Sonar parties were so stonking that there was no need. Essentially this was my Im doing coke in the flat before we go out to the day party tune. It got rinsed so much I started hearing the bassline in my sleep. Good times.

2.
Herbal George: I dont even know where the fuck to begin with this. This shit is deeper than ATLANTIS son. Fuhreal.
1.

William Wasteman: This is me, every Friday of 2013, walking into a weekend that will contain at least 3 blackouts, 2 arguments, 5 apology texts and 20 chicken Mcnuggets. Look how happy I am! What a year its been ey?