This Week…Please Stop Spoiling Us Ambassador
"Are we the baddies?" – The Daily Mail
PLEASE STOP SPOILING US AMBASSADOR
There's something painfully ironic about seeing Nigel Farage walk down a flight of stairs holding a Ferrero Rocher pyramid. The similarities are more than just coincidental. Much like a Rocher, Farage is a fake imitation of decadence. Much like a Rocher, you don't know anyone who likes him other than your Grandparents, and much like a Rocher once you crack open the outer layer you realise that inside they are both fucking nuts.
Toasting what has been a successful year for Farage Wednesday saw him honoured at a private party as hosted by the Barclay brothers (owners of the Telegraph newspaper) and Arron Banks, who spent £7.5m on the Leave.EU campaign and is the perfect embodiment of someone who has more money than sense. The Rochers were a reference to comments made by Trump earlier this week who said that Farage would make a 'great' ambassador to the US for the UK. Keep in mind though that he also said the same about Roy 'Chubby' Brown, the corpse of Bernard Manning, your weird homophobic Uncle and those people who think morris dancing in black face is an OK thing to do, so who's actually in the running for the job is anyone's guess.
I don't quite know why anyone would want to celebrate a man who ushered the UK into certain catastrophe. It's the equivalent of booking yourself a trip to Hawaii because you drove a car through your living room, or expecting a pay rise every time you punch yourself in the groin. You wouldn't treat yourself to a champagne breakfast because you set your head on fire, so why throw a party in Farage's honour? If this year has taught me anything it's that some questions simply cannot be answered.
AND NOW FOR THE NEWS IN BRIEF…
1996 VS 2016
YOUR KIDS ARE NOW SAFE
DANNY DYER FINDS HIMSELF
I edited Danny Dyer on Who Do You Think You Are? down to 90 seconds of highlights pic.twitter.com/pVsSG0kMvJ
— #BROKEN Wil Jones (@AchinglyChic) November 25, 2016
CORBYN LAUNCHES NEW SOCIAL MEDIA CAMPAIGN
— Mo' Juggs☝ (@joemuggs) November 21, 2016