"You can't party all the time – especially in January!" – Neon Hitch
"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else." – Will Rogers
"One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain." – Bob Marley
The NHS is in crisis. Jeremy Corbyn pledges no real interest in ensuring that freedom of movement remains a part of post-Brexit Britain. And Amber Rudd's Conservative party speech was officially recorded as a 'hate incident' West Midlands police confirmed. Yes, there was a lot to discuss this week because c'mon guys the world doesn't end just because 2016 did, and discuss it we did until…PISS.
There are few things in this world that truly unite us anymore, topics that transcend race, class, gender, wealth or any other facet of modern life that – unfortunately – still divides us. No matter how educated we think we are or what morals we live our life by, nothing brings us together quite like a story involving a person doing something with their knob and/or fanny that they shouldn't be doing. It's in our DNA. It's why with every technological advancement that promises to change the way our society functions, our first question is always 'can you watch porn on it?' And if the answer is 'no', you better believe we'll quickly find a way around that.
Governments have been toppled by one too many visits to a brothel and public figures brought to account for their wanking addictions. In a time where politicians seem untouchable, feared perhaps we need stories like this to make these people seem human again, get under their skin and understand what makes them tick. And nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING does that quite like a good ol' fashioned pissing story.
When this story broke many people concentrated on the more alarming aspects this – unconfirmed – report gave us. Deep rooted ties to Russia and a President who is at risk of blackmail are just two sources of worry this information gave us. And worried we should be. But in a world that's split down the middle we should not be ashamed that it is a news story about prostitutes urinating on a bed Obama slept on in an American Psycho-esque brand of frat boy revenge, we should be proud.
AND NOW FOR THE NEWS IN BRIEF
JEB STILL REELING FROM ELECTION RESULTS
FARAGE GIVEN LBC RADIO SHOW
Come on, Video. You know what to do. pic.twitter.com/BiLiwz5xT3
— Ataribaby (@Ataribaby) January 7, 2017