This Week… Stupidity, self-delusion & time-keeping.

"You can't be late until you show up"

"My life is a constant battle against maturity"

"The one difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"

"If everything is coming your way, chances are you're in the wrong lane"

"If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway"

"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups"

"Change is good… you go first"

"Maybe this world is another planet's hell"

"Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?"

"It's only funny 'til someone gets hurt… then it's hilarious!"

"If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?"

"Psychiatrists say one in four people are mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're okay, you're it"

“Fridays are the hardest in some ways: you’re so close to freedom.”  Lauren Oliver

"I don't suffer from insanity, I'm enjoying every second of it!"

"There are three types of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't"

"There are three kinds of people in the world: those who watch things happen, those who make things happen and those who just don't know what the hell happened"

"Why be difficult when you can be impossible?"

"Are you always this stupid or is today your special day?"

"Well, aren't you a waste of 2 billion years of evolution?"

"The little men who live behind my eyes and scream directly at my brain told me to tell you 'hello'"