This Week... Nice Things

Commentary

“Bollocks” – Bob Geldof on taxes.

“Bollocks” – Bob Geldof on criticism.

“Bollocks” – Bob Geldof on Brexit

“Bollocks” – Nigel Farage on Geldof

THIS WEEK…NICE THINGS

We’re only 1 day over the first half of 2016, a time that was marked in the ‘start as we mean to go on’ theme that seems to have taken hold of the year in a truly depressing and ugly way. Opinions will be formed and views will be given but for now let’s just try and concentrate on some of the more baffling talking points of the week aside from everything being just straight up completely shite.

MEN ON BOATS

One is an inept middle-England public personality who holds right-wing values and poor taste who probably owns a Range Rover and the other is Alan Partridge. Yes the world became a bit more like The Thick Of It this week as Farage and Bob Geldof, everyone’s second favourite ‘musician you hate but can’t actually pinpoint why’ after Bono, embarked on a tabloid pissing match down the Thames to see who was more English. Farage, a multi-millionaire former stockbroker, complained that multi-millionaire Bob Geldof was a ‘multimillionaire laughing’ at a group of pissed off fisherman riding alongside Farage like the Magnificent Seven but wetter. Nobody was really in the right here and to be honest it was quite sad to watch, like when you see a drunk man trying to climb a steep hill, the post-Atomic Kitten Katona years or any of the wedding photos you see in an issue of OK Magazine. Hell even watching Mary Berry forced to bake cake after cake after cake with pain in her eyes is more comfortable to watch.

WHAT’S GOING ON?

In a world where down is up, left is right and English fans aren’t THE most violent hooligans in football later shocks to the world came in the form of Jeremy Clarkson’s vow to vote against Brexit. Prior to this in my eyes the truest personification of Britishness came with Clarkson, a middle-aged slightly balding man who loves cars and is a bit racist but not EDL racist. He’s the type of guy who says everything is ‘too PC these days’ but appreciates that without the EU he would pay higher taxes on fags. The claim came after the PM came to him for a publicity stunt to drum up support, a man who in the eyes of Cameron is a portal to the younger voter in the same way Miliband assumed every person under the age of 30 looked up to Russell Brand.