This Week… Get Out And Vote
"Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner." J. Bovard
"It's not the voting that's democracy; it's the counting." T. Stoppard
"It's amazing to me how many people think that voting to have the government give poor people money is compassion. Helping poor and suffering people yourself is compassion. Voting for our government to use guns to give money to help poor and suffering people is immoral, self-righteous, bullying laziness." Penn Jillette
And so, finally, this most unique of general election campaigns is approaching the finish line. A line that the vast majority of political commentators predicted Corbyn would be need to be dragged over like an asthmatic old dog, before being taken round the back next to the packing crates and put to sleep.
Instead, Corbyn is hurling himself down the final straight like a man possessed – a man whose party might even get something out of what until very recently promised to be a sorry and dismal affair, whether that be a hung parliament (unlikely) or a reduced Tory majority (increasingly likely).
Theresa May on the other hand is now even refusing to take part in local TV interviews. RAISE THE DRAWBRIDGE! LOWER THE PORTCULLIS! GET THE DUCKS OUT OF THE MOAT! With any luck she'll go the full hog and refuse to take part in being the Prime Minister.
Hey, if you're still stuck on the fence and getting splinters in your groin, you could probably do with something to help you make your mind up? How about the wonderuful news that Conservative candidate Craig Mackinlay has been charged with electoral fraud as part of a major investigation into the 2015 election campaign. Essentially Mackinlay and his two aides labelled spending on hotels within their constituency as 'national spending', so as to increase their constituency campaigning without breaking a legal spending ceiling. Nice job guys. With just days to go until the polls, the news is likely to arrest the Tories' momentum once again, at a time when they would rather be eyeing the prize rather than looking nervously over their shoulders.
Make sure you vote, and see you on the other side I guess. We'll leave the final word – for now – on the election to the venerable Mr Tim Sheridan:
"The ongoing media onslaught is based on the idea that Jeremy Corbyn, and now Diane Abbott, are unfit. As individuals.
The Labour Party are not individuals. Nor indeed are any party.
The United Kingdom is run by the civil service. Thousands of workers. In fact nearly half a million. You probably know one. Likely you are one.
A Labour victory does not mean half a million people are fired and replaced by an army of cartoon northerners in flatcaps and wimminz wearing overalls and red sashes. Exactly the same people stay running the country after the election as are running it now.
Look past the individuals. It is childish to think this is a binary choice between two people. Indeed it is stupid and dangerous.
I urge you not to listen to fear mongering.
Nothing terrible will happen if you want change.
Our Civil Service and Parliament will make sure of it.
Every single State-employed advisor, accountant, farmer, solider, doctor, nurse, secretary, lawyer and scientist of every stripe and political persuasion will make damn sure of it.
The United Kingdom will make sure of it.
You will make sure of it."