This Week… All-Out Nuclear Snore


“There’s a myth that time is money. In fact, time is more precious than money. It’s a nonrenewable resource. Once you’ve spent it, and if you’ve spent it badly, it’s gone forever" – Neil A. Fiore

"I don't know why people expect art to make sense. They accept the fact that life doesn't make sense" – David Lynch

"Never underestimate the power of spray-painting things gold. It triples the value instantly" – Chabuddy G

"Theresa May is a paigon" – Stormzy

Nuclear war? More like nuclear snore. Amirite folks?? As the planet continues to stumble uncontrollably towards nuclear armageddon like a man who's just downed two bottles of Sainsbury's vodka and gone ten rounds with Floyd Mayweather, the instinct is to jam our fingers in our ears, put the kettle on and hum 'The White Cliffs of Dover' while filtering any mentions of the phrase "preemptive strike" from our social media feeds. It is, quite literally, too much to think about – an unimaginable event that requires supreme imaginative powers to comprehend. We'd rather gather around the watercooler (OK, shout at each other across our desks) and talk about football transfer sagas or the Bristol girl who threw a poo out the window or how many 7 year olds you could beat in a fight, blindfolded, with one hand tied behind your back.

And yet every Friday I come to write this column and the only things I can think about are bomb shelters and missile trajectories, despite the subject having been forcibly pushed to the back of my mind all week like some unwanted Xmas sweater. It's easy to make jokes about the absurd world leaders who seem to be twisting the knife another quarter rotation every single day – I guess in a way that's all we really can do. But the truth is, the fear is starting to register, just a little. Not enough to have an impact on daily life – yet – but it's something of a lurking presence somewhere in the background.

Ok that's quite enough of that. Can we please take a second to appreciate these incredible pairs of living legends at the GQ Awards the other night…

Pure excellence dripping from every picture.



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