The Christmas Bells
"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year." V. Borge
"Careful! You're washing a baby's scalp, not scrubbing the vomit out of a Christmas dress, you stupid holiday drunk… " F. Guy
"Pretending to believe in the Mayan apocalypse prophecy is a great way to get out of buying Christmas presents."
"Nothing succeeds like excess." O. Wilde
"Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day – the birth of Santa?" B. Simpson
"O Come All Ye Faithful. Well there goes 85% of the population!"
"My absolute favorite time of the year is Christmas. I don't give a shit about all the consumerism, Black Fridays, or whatever the hell else all the silver spooned moo moos want to complain about. You give me any other time of the year where we get two weeks flapping around getting loaded and paid for it, and Ill start hating Santa Claus. Anyone that complains about going into work is just pissed off about having to wake up because its literally 2 parts work and 10 parts fuck it! Woo! Long Live Satan Claws!" C. Baker.
"Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.' I suppose you could say 'Merry Christmas' and 'Happy New Year,' but you probably have sh*t to do." J. Stewart
"This year, I'm going to buy all of my Christmas gifts from Nike…Made for kids by kids."
"Why does rain drop, but snow fall?"
"People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December." O. Nash
"There has been only one Christmas — the rest are anniversaries." W. J. Cameron
"Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log." E. DeGeneres
So hang on, I didn't win then?! Did they really mean to say "Wil, you're the winner"? I'm pretty sure this is what it's all been leading up to…
Xmas number one ITN News.^^^
Go team NHS… or girl power… or whatever new cause we're supposed to shouting about.
Nuff with the topical shit, let's get xmas gif-ing, imaging etc etc etc…
Now that is a fkkin christmas tree….
And that is a Christmas present… oh it was…
Star Wars eh? Not great but topical…
This is pretty much what Xmas is gonna be like round here… this:
Will let Jeff play us out…
"Merry Christmas, nearly everybody!" Ogden Nash
"May peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through!"