random slices #20

Commentary

Watching films in the hot tub is standard for me. However, for the average joe out there its a rare occurrence, perhaps even a mere pipe dream. No longer, though – because the fine folk over at Factory 7 are offering you the opportunity to live the high life with a series of 'intimate' hot-tub screenings in Shoreditch, with a different film screened each night until 5th March. This weekend its Pulp Fiction and Dirty Dancing. You get a waiter bringing you drinks in the tub and the opportunity to cop a feel of a complete stranger in their swimwear. What more do you want, a f@cking handjob?

Shuffler Spotting

Head down to Dalston on Saturday night with a pair of binoculars and be wowed by the spectacular array of wildlife to be found hanging out of kebab shops/causing a ruckus in the queues for the clubs. Marvel at the newly migrated species, flying in from the wilds of Romford – the orange hued Lesser Spotted Shuffler, the Greater Crested snapback Barrie – all on show, engaged in mating rituals and echoing their unique, charming calls of FARK AWWFF up and down the Kingsland Road. In days gone by, youd have to go to Magaluf to get such a fantastic show of nature, but now, thanks to the proliferation of aaaaaasssss mooozik, you can catch them on your doorstep. FARK AWFFF!

Television

Been watching a bit of telly recently, Im ashamed/proud to admit. The old idiot box in the corner has come back to life as the years start to mount up and you get so old/skint you cant be bothered to leave the house any more. To my surprise, however, there seems to be a bit of a sea change going on pon the ol goggle box. I read an article a while back that suggested the domination of programmes such as X Factor was coming to an end, mainly down to the ongoing recession and the fact that glitzy, over produced talent shows were a bit out of step with the majority of our miserable lives. I thought yeah right, but, you know, maybe they were onto something. It seems that after decades of dumbing down, there may just be a bit of a fightback going on – black mirror and Utopia on C4, Poliakov dramas about the jazz age on the Beeb, high brow scandinavian fiction, intense documentaries on the war on drugs – all a noticeable step in the right direction. Hopefully, this time next year, the new Quantum Physics programme will be the talk of the town, trending on twitter and everything. Long live the idiot box.

Hot Tub Cinema

Watching films in the hot tub is standard for me. However, for the average joe out there its a rare occurrence, perhaps even a mere pipe dream. No longer, though – because the fine folk over at Factory 7 are offering you the opportunity to live the high life with a series of rooftop hot-tub screenings in Shoreditch, with a different film screened each night until 5th March. This weekend its Pulp Fiction and Dirty Dancing. You get a waiter bringing you drinks in the tub and the opportunity to cop a feel of a complete stranger in their swimwear. What more do you want, a f@cking blowjob?

Shuffler Spotting

Head down to Dalston on Saturday night with a pair of binoculars and be wowed by the spectacular array of wildlife to be found hanging out of kebab shops/causing a ruckus in the queues for the clubs. Marvel at the newly migrated species, flying in from the wilds of Romford – the orange hued Lesser Spotted Shuffler, the Greater Crested snapback Barrie – all on show, engaged in mating rituals and echoing their unique, charming calls of FARK AWWFF up and down the Kingsland Road. In days gone by, youd have to go to Magaluf to get such a fantastic show of nature, but now, thanks to the proliferation of aaaaaasssss mooozik, you can catch them on your doorstep. FARK AWFFF!

Television

Been watching a bit of telly recently, Im ashamed to admit. The old idiot box in the corner has come back to life as the years start to mount up and you get so old/skint you cant be bothered to leave the house any more. To my surprise, however, there seems to be a bit of a sea change going on pon the ol goggle box. I read an article a while back that suggested the domination of programmes such as X Factor was coming to an end, mainly down to the ongoing recession and the fact that glitzy, over produced talent shows were a bit out of step with the majority of our miserable lives. I thought yeah right, but, you know, maybe they were onto something. It seems that after decades of dumbing down, there may just be a bit of a fightback going on – black mirror and Utopia on C4, Poliakov dramas about the jazz age on the Beeb, high brow scandinavian ficition – all a noticeable step in the right direction. Hopefully, this time next year, the new Quantum Physics programme will be the talk of the town, trending on twitter and everything. Long live the idiot box.