Londoners Outraged By ‘Anti-Homeless’ Spikes


Homeless people smell like poo crust and bin jizz yeah? Plus they're all fucking rich, yeah? Do you know how much you earn begging? I saw a program about it, most of them are raking in £5K a week and using it to renovate their gypsy mansions back in Kazakhshitstein. Don't fool me for a fucking second. Filthy rich scrounging pauper scum, yeah? So if I'm building a bloody lovely block of much bloody needed luxury flats in leafy Southwark then the last thing I want is a soap dodging scrounge monkey kipping outside and fucking up my investment portfolio, yeah? So I've embedded these little spikes in the floor, they're pretty cute really, just a gentle reminder to piss off – and you know what? Turns out that all the bleeding heart lefty fuckers are kicking up a stink saying that I'M the one who's a vicious cancer on the arse of humanity! The cheek!  They should have seen the first plan – I wanted one of those head exploding invisible fences they use in The Running Man, but- bloody typical – we ran up against EU regulation about murdering people with the wrong type of wattage. 

Anyway, now all these sandal faced soya weaving Guardianista cunts are signing a petition saying the spikes have to go, and even good ol' Bozza Johnson is getting up in my face on twitter, saying that the spikes are stupid. Stupid! Fer Christ sake Boris!! I thought your lot were all about waving burning 50s in front of a tramps pleading mush, like some poshboy KLF– now you're getting all fucking Gandhi on me. That's the last time I lend you a penthouse to shag the intern,  I'll tell you that for free. 

At this rate people will start thinking that Londoners actually give a shit about the pikey's hanging out on street corners with their pathetic styrofoam cups and missing limbs. Bastards. The sooner they sort out the Cameronbot's programming and get him to declare paupers illegal, the sooner we put the GREAT back into Britain, am I right or am I right?