DEAR R$N… OURVERY OWN AGONY AUNT IS HERE

Are you tired with the taste of bitter tears, bittering up your bitter black coffee every morning? Do your housemates often say things like “Hey bro i really liked your abstract take on Spandau Ballet’s ‘True’ last night” when really it was just you wailing yourself to sleep? 

Here at R$N, we understand. We want to absorb your woe and regurgitate it back to you in soft, delicate advice, much like a mother bird feeding worms to it’s young in that weird, regurgitate-y way they do.

That’s why we have decided to placate your misery with a weekly R$N Agony Aunt column.

Feel free to inundate us with your angst but do not feel ashamed, as all questions will be kept anonymous. 

Email helpmyagony@theransomnote.co.uk – don’t be shy now… and we’ll do our best to help… anonymously of course!

Love Marjorie R$N x

(ed note, Marjorie Proops was one of the first agony aunts who appeared in The Mirror and was educated at Dalston Secondary School no less! – She allegedly a bit of a racist and received an OBE but we won’t go into that here…)