Blacked-Up Aristo Smashes Car Into Tree Whilst Driving Pissed
In bizarre scenes, the 24 year old Lord George Worsley has been banned from driving after crashing his car into a lamp post. Apparently the 'tired' Lord was weaving back and forth along a dual carriage-way, driving whilst three times the legal drinking limit, and trying to out run a police car. When, after the inevitable crash, the old bill approached Worsley's wrecked car, they were surprised to find that the rat-arsed young Lord was apparently 'blacked up', his face covered in boot polish. Whether this was some sort of vaguely unpleasant racial business, a harmless homage to the legend that is Papa Lazarou, or merely the kinky play of a cheeky chappy is currently unclear. "I do feel I have been rather foolish." was Worsley's suitably Bertie Wooster-esque response on his apprehension.
According to the Telegraph, upon Worsley's appearance at Grimsby Magistrates' Court, he pleaded guilty to drink driving, as well as driving without insurance and a licence- all of which probably qualifies him for some shift work with Uber. In Worsley's support, his defence spoke of his charity work in Kenya and Singapore – not really sure how the whole black face thing will have gone over in Kenya, George – and that "Worsley was in the process of setting up his own fashion newspaper in London." which, as we know, is exoneration for any crime committed anywhere, by anyone. Startlingly, the judge disagreed, and handed down a 24 month ban, and 120 hours community service. Toff's eh? Gotta love em. Or not.
Do you know of any blue bloods driven wild by Tory rule? Have you seen any tweed clad chaps chronically battered on the Bolivian and howling at the moon? Perhaps you've felt the lizard fingers of a minor royal caress your neck in an East London warehouse? If you have any info on these poor, misguided wretches, don't hesitate to call TOFF WATCH today.