Asking For A Friend #34

There is always that one bloke in the pub who thinks out loud. Who asks the questions which pop into his head almost immediately, he has little filter and asks the questions that we all want to know the answers to. His name is Mitch Davis and this is Asking For A Friend. 

Is this a good look for a new year and a new me?
Asking for a friend.

Anyone know how I ended up on here?
Asking for a piss head.

Why have they dressed me as a fucking monkey? 
Asking for a cat.

Is there your card in the hackers database? 
Asking for a friend.

What's the big deal about the 'no smoking in cars with kids' law?
Asking for a friend.

How do you get your laptop back to how it was the day you bought it?
Asking for a friend.

How do you print off your MP3s so they can play on this?
Asking for a friend.

Anyone want to buy a one off home knitted cushion?
Asking for a friend.

Hey guys. Is this new look #ontrend for SS16?
Asking for a friend.

Any landlords in London got a spare room to rent? 
Asking for some friends.

Anyone want to buy the new Citronic Disco Console? 
Belt drive, plays 3D mp3s, volume control and multi coloured buttons. £2500
Asking for a friend.

Anyone got a tin opener I can borrow?
Asking for a friend.

Who locked my fucking door?
Asking for a friend.

Does anyone else have these sinister entities follow them around?
Asking for a friend.