Asking For A Friend #22


We were starting to suspect that Mitch Davis's 'friend' who sends him all these requests was actually just a cover up for his own bizarre interests. However, we've since had a fax from the supposed 'friend' which confirmed their existence and we can no longer be any doubt that our mitch is but an innocent messenger. Well, we say innocent… Anyway, here's this week's batch and we kick off with the furry gent above;

Anyone want to buy a taxidermied badger, thats been turned into a theremin? Asking for a friend.

How the fuck are you meant to carry one of these new iPads around? Asking for a friend.

Anyone know a good place to pick psilocybin mushrooms around here? Asking for a friend.

Is it safe to piss on a snake? Asking for a friend (with a seriously dirty toilet).

Anyone else on techno tinder? Asking for a friend.

Anyone looking for a drummer? Asking for a friend.

Any single ladies out there looking for love? Asking for a friend.

Is this inconspicuous enough if you're smuggling drugs over from Bolivia to the UK? Asking for a friend.

If a man talks in the woods and there's no women around to hear him, is he still wrong? Asking for a friend.

If you have a massive red tipped cock, should you show it off in public? Asking for a friend.

Is it acceptable nowadays to call yourself a solosexual? Asking for a friend.

Anybody want to buy a set of microphones? Only used a few times. Asking for a friend.

If you've been arrested for wanking in Burger King, will you go to prison? Asking for a friend.

How the fuck do I get outta here? Asking for a cat.

Mitch Davis can be found running Numb Magazine among other things.