Asking For A Friend #17

Is this real life?
We're stilll trying to cling on to some form of clarity in this brave new world but never fear Mitch Davis is back to help us to realise we're not actually as insane as we first thought.
Here's this week's batch of questions from his increasingly terrifying friend:
First day at new job. Why is everyone ignoring me?
Asking for a friend
First day at new job. Why is everyone ignoring me?
Asking for a friend
Should you stop sending funny videos of yourself to people at three in the morning whilst pissed?
Asking for Zoë
If you've recently found out the earth is flat after all, not a globe, should you tell anyone? Asking for a friend
Are 1988 acid house ponytails still in vogue? Asking for a friend
Anyone want to buy a case of artisan slow death in a tin?
Asking for a friend
Is it ok to use an old holiday photo for your Match.com profile pic? Asking for a friend
Is this enough pizza to send back if they sent the wrong one? Delivery driver is saying no.
Asking for a friend
Job lot of cute bears for sale. Anyone interested? Asking for a friend
Is it safe to snort Persil if you've run out of breakfast cocaine?
Asking for a friend
If this is your Facebook profile pic, will you finally get a girlfriend?
Asking for a friend
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