Asking For A Friend #10

We've finally buckled under the pressure and given Mitch Davis the 'official' category on Ransom Note that he deserves for his weekly dose of unusual questions from his 'friend'. This week's batch sees no let-up in the quality of questioning so we'll step aside and let the questions do the talking;

If you've texted your new girlfriend 1436 times and she hasn't replied, is her phone broken? Asking for a friend.

Anyone need a DJ? All dates available from now until the end of time. Asking for Tanner Ross.

Help! Anyone know how to close this puzzle box I bought off Ebay? Asking for a friend.

If a small wood elf with a large penis is in your garden firing sticks at you, are you tripping? Asking for a friend.

Is it illegal to make love to a cantaloupe melon? Asking for a friend.

If you see your dream woman in Burger King, should you ask her out? Asking for a friend.

What the fuck does WTF mean? Asking for a friend.

Any rifle loving ladies want to recreate this love photo with me? Small green ostrich optional. Asking for a friend.

Anyone fancy an evening of drink and drug fuelled rampant sex? Asking for a friend.

Is this suitable attire for a cheeky Nandos and ‪#‎megabantz? Asking for a friend.

If you strangle a smurf, what colour will he turn? Asking for a friend.

If you've cut your cat's hair so he looks like a Game Of Thrones style dragon, how do you stop him sulking? Asking for a friend.

Just been sent a press pass for Kylie at BST. Is she still single? Asking for a friend.

Anyone got a puncture repair kit and a pump I can borrow? Asking for my girlfriend.

If there's a coven of beautiful witches chanting incantations in your back garden, should you be worried? Asking for a friend.

Is it sad to make a new friend out of your breakfast because you're so lonely? Asking for a friend.

Is this dance parody clickbait site meant to be funny? Asking for a friend.

And this week Mitch has even provided a couple of handy tip and tricks for you;

CREATE your own Game Of Thrones picture book by squirting ketchup over a copy of Razzle.

MAKE your own paper copy of Facebook by taping junk mail together and writing down what your old school mates are having for dinner.

DRINKING alcohol free booze is a great way to unwind for people who don't hate everything about their life.

Mitch Davis can be found running Numb Magazine among other things.