Expendables 3

This is not a review, because I haven't seen the film, nor do I expect anyone else to, but just in case, you find yourself at a cinema without a clue as to what to see – this is not a good choice. Trust me.

If you don't know by now about The Expendables franchise, then you won't want to see this film. It's The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel for older men with steroid addiction, and the only person unsurprised by its continuing popularity must be the perennially optimistic Sylvester Stallone. The likes of Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford (known in the trailer, along with the rest of the cast, by their second names)have taken the Stallone shilling – for which they should be, but won't be, ashamed. The jokey blokey banter and the endless explosions make this not so much a testosterone-fuelled film, as a 21st century comic for boys.

Phil Raby 
Front Row Films 

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