“He that keeks through a keyhole may see what will vex him” - Old Scots proverb
"You can't just have stuff that is free and escapist, you have to have stuff that is confrontational as well. You need stuff that is mystical but you need the realism too" - Irvine Welsh
"Windmills are going to be the death of Scotland if they don't do something about them. They are ruining the countryside" - Donald Trump
"Scotland, she disnae need balls, just tae produce mair bairns that love her" - Jesse Rae
It's been a turbulent week for the weather, foxes, the album format, Katie Hopkins and Theresa May. But what does it all mean? We'll get to that in a moment. But now; Seal.
Thank you Seal.
Right, so... speaking of killers, almost three years into the investigation of the Croydon cat killer, after postmortems on deceased cats and two rabbits, forensic examinations, DNA tests and the studying of CCTV, Scotland Yard announced that humans were in the clear and that foxes are to blame. Fuck foxes and don't feed them fucking eggs.
1. Me: The album format.
2. You: What?
3. Me: The Mercury Music Prize has been decided and everywhere I turn I read or hear a news piece about the worth of the album format.
4. You: Right, and?
5. Me: There's talk of 'the album format' being dead.
6. You: Still?
7. Me: Yes. The press and radio seem love the 'album format is dead'/'no one buys albums' narrative.
8. You: Okay, I mean it's a valid conversation the music industry and fans need to have, don't you think?
10: You: Chill out, it's just some thoughtful think-pieces on the topic. There's a whole generation consuming nothing but singles and EP's these days. The music industry's changed. Someone is going to write about it. This is that.
11. Me: Fuck off ya sympathetic twat. It's just annoying to see everywhere.
12. You: Well it'll be gone by next week.
13. Me: True.
14. You & Me: Pub? (Bonus Track)
Lol, that was fun wasn't it. A serious ballache to put together though and certainly not something I'll be doing again in a hurry.
Important public service announcement:
Spotify now lets artists bypass labels and upload their own music — a self-upload feature and royalties dashboard for independent artists. Seems like a great idea for artists but could it be just a new way to line the pockets of the streaming/tech company executives pockets with even more money? I know someone who may just be able to answer this one.
Is this phruity or phallic?
Is this your parking space?
Shoreditch residents have — apparently — had enough with the drug dealing in their area (no they haven't) so they've come together and 'fought back', installing 'satirical' street signs designating “crack pickup” points and telling drivers to “give way to oncoming drug dealers”.
Talking of drugs, it's Friday. Yay. And the Daily Mail are giving away a free packet of Spice with every copy today. Get yours here.
Here are some drug GIFs to laugh at.
Straighten up a sec. The Tories are here.
In short. All 27 EU leaders believe Theresa May's Brexit trade plan 'will not work’.
If you're not already at the pub As you're already at the pub check this out courtesy of national treasure, diamond geezer, Daniel John Dyer:
Have fun. Be nice to people.