"I don't think I would run for president." - Dj Khaled
"I think I jump around more when I'm alone." - Nicolas Cage
"Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed." - Prince Phillip
January sucks. Really, it's cold, everyone's sober and all the good food has gone. Where did all the fun times go? The laughs? The smiles? The joy?
This week our beloved Harry and Meghan followed in the footsteps of pop sensation Lorde, declaring that they will never be royal. Apparently this made the queen much sad. However, if I were Harry I might be inclined to leave my family too, what if they were all racist, nonce lizards etc. I'm sure they're lovely people.
Anyway, this is just my two cents on the matter, as a financially independent man.
Meanwhile, Greggs announced that they will be launching a vegan steak bake, a truly monumental moment which highlights just how far we've come as a nation. Now vegans will be able to appreciate that beautiful feeling like no other when biting into a delicious pastry which has been roasted beyond comprehension, that moment of absolute peril when the gravy drips precariously from your mouth with an exhale as hot as that of a dragons breath.
Anyway, what do you think 2020 has in store for us? How can we deconstruct deconstructed dance music any further? What new genres lie in wait? Post garage? Post house? Post grime? Postman Pat and his black and white cat? The options are endless...
Hey, here's some internet stuff.
Enjoy this article? Want more?
You can support Ransom Note and independent journalism through our Patreon campaign now.
Become a friend of Ransom Note