For a few glorious hours the world was quiet, life was peaceful and nobody posted a selfie. It was the stuff of dreams, a beautiful fantasy, the type of which we could never have imagined. I will remember that day for as long as I live...
Yes, this was the reality of the week when for a magical few hours Facebook and its associated applications went offline. It was a significant blackout for the social media powerhouse which also owns Instagram and Whatsapp. Rumours ran wild as to the root cause of the issue - all of a sudden everyone was disconnected and isolated. Pokemon Go users couldn't play Pokemon Go, Scrabble Mattel users couldn't play Scrabble Mattel and porn users... well, they were just fine.
Supposedyly the outage cost Mark Zuckerberg billions of dollars but the reality is that it's probably resulted in some poor intern developer getting fired. That's life I guess when your company runs the world.
Meanwhile Boris was busy preparing for the Conservative party conference, at which he would go own to give a speech in which he used the phrase "build back beaver". Out of context it sounds pretty strange for the PM to be referencing his penchant for hair down there but in reality he was actually talking about beavers. Apparently he wants to bring them back, they must make good lorry drivers or something?
Elsewhere at the party Dominic Raab made a bit of a t*t of himself by declaring that he was against misogyny towards both women and men. Yes, you heard that correctly. I expect to see him attending one of those 'straight pride' parades in the very near future but in the meantime, ladies and gentlemen, our Deputy Prime Minister.
Anyway, enjoy the weekend, you deserve it.
Enjoy this article? Want more?
You can support Ransom Note and independent journalism through our Patreon campaign now.
Become a friend of Ransom Note