This Week... Gazza Tweets And A Snake Owner Murdered By Snake

Commentary

"Every great story seems to begin with a snake." – Nicolas Cage

"I never predict anything, and I never will." – Paul Gascoigne

"I saw something good in Hitler…" – Erkyah Badu

Hello one, hello all. You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge. Kind of. To be perfectly frank, there is no knowledge being delivered in this week's This Week, especially not from the street. It's simply an internat binge sprinkled with groove-slinging political inspection and web lols that made our office chortle non-stop for the last five days. Don't you worry, it's going to be alright because I'm always ready, I won't let you out of my sight.

First up. RIP Mark E Smith. Only 60 and who once fired a soundman for ordering a salad and has called ex-bandmates — of which there are 62 former members — "d***heads who can't hold their beer and needed to get home to Cheshire."

I can't divulge anything more than a pictoral account of this story below, or who this unfamous TV celebrity is, and I certainly wouldn't say that she's lying either.

What do you think?

Take a moment to enjoy some history before Erykah Badu ruins it.

Did you now?

Thankfully, Gazza's on hand to offer some light relief by way of his twitter account.

There was no saving Brexit Secretary David Davis from himself this week during his committee appearance. His phone went off and he said things like "Can you sell jam made in Somerset in Scotland?" and "It’s all been very straightforward so far, hasn’t it?"

Yes David. It has. He even had to rush off to another meeting. Maybe he was off to the Presidents Club or the Posh Twats Society Ball or Stringfellows' monthly Charity Cake Sale at Secrets, Hammersmith so he can chortle, scoff and stuff his face with food before he and his friend deposits his penis on the table in front of a hostess… or somthing like this.

I don't fucking know. I don't follow him around or anything. Stop asking.

KFC HAVE ONLY GONE AND TURNED THE WORLD UPSIDE DOWN WITH THEIR CRAZY SLICE OF EQUALITY FOCUSED ADVERTISING.

COLONAL BLEEDING SANDRA

Trump apologised over tweeting Britain First. “If you are telling me they’re horrible people, horrible, racist people, I would certainly apologise if you’d like me to do that.” He went on to say "“I know nothing about them and I know nothing about them today other than I read a little bit.”

Every day is a surprise with him as President. It's so so so so so so so so so so weird. And sad.

And you may find yourself
Living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself
In another part of the world
And you may find yourself
Behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house
With a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself, well
How did I get here?