"Sometimes you do something, and you get screwed. Sometimes it's the things you don't do, and you get screwed."
No one likes Camden Market unless you’re 19 and from a provincial Somerset and you’ve got some time to pass ...
"We all fly. Once you leave the ground, you fly. Some people fly longer than others." - Michael Jordan
"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."
"Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur."
"My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being ...
“A dirty brush is a useless brush!”
"I believe in benevolent dictatorship provided I am the dictator."
"Wild horses couldn't drag me away..."
"I mean, if cans can be recycled, why not spirits?"
"The stars are matter, we're matter, but it doesn't matter."
"I do not like mud baths at all."
"Time flies like an arrow - but fruit flies like a banana."
"I'm not limited."
"Accept what people offer. Drink their milkshakes. Take their love."
"In London they don't like you if you're still alive."
"I can think. I can sleep. I can move. I can ride my bike. I can dream."
"I like smelly things." - Clive Anderson
"Oh, yeah, nice one..."
"I know nothing about Wikileaks" - Donald Trump
"I don't normally cook, but if I did it probably would be beans, sausage, bacon and eggs."