Science Makes Strong Case For Vampires

 
Commentary

In a story that sounds like great news for all of you rich, pension drawing Ransom Note readers out there, and worrying news for pretty much everyone else, it turns out that young blood is pretty good at curing diseases asscociated with aging, such as alzheimers. In a series of experiements that 100% weren't weird or cruel, a selection of American science boffs have been running tests on mice to see whether younger blood can have a positive effect on aging mice. Here's the good/bad news: they found that an infusion of young blood rejuvenates and restores mental capabilities in the brains of older mice. Extrapolating (as scientists like to) the research team have theorised that the same rule may apply to humans, and an infusion of young blood could help an older person overcome the pitfalls of aging.

The study's lead author, scientist Dr Saul Villeda told press that “we’ve shown that at least some age-related impairments in brain function are reversible. They’re not final.” Unfortunately he also revealed that any meaningful results for humans were several years away.

At this point we have to start wondering – you're an aging billionaire staring down the barrel of dementia. Do you A) wait 7 years for Dr Villeda to get his shit together or B) start snatching healthy youngsters of the streets to gorge yourself happy on their youthful plasma. Is everyone else guessing B?

For a more serious look at this you can read about it here.