As you're surely all aware, instead of getting down to the daily grind at R$N Towers we spend most of our time on the look out for obtuse humour. Via the lizarding (allegedly) medium of Facebook, we stumbled across a fantastic chain of questions from the effortlessly funny Mitch Davis... that he was asking for a friend, of course.
We laughed so much that a little wee came out we decided that we should ask Mr Davis to "ask his friend" if we may serialise his mindspill/sparks of genius for your amusement. He kindly agreed.
Here's his latest batch of questions, for his friend of course;
Is it illegal to make crystal meth in a public library? The lady is saying it is. Asking for a friend.
What's the best way to open security deposit boxes? Asking for a friend.
If you order a £1700 pedigree Bengal cat online...and this arrives, should you send it back? Asking for a friend.
Will you go out with me? Asking for a friend.
If you're scared of dogs and a small platoon of them are following you, should you run...or try and fight them? Asking for a friend.
If you eat 23 Cadbury's Creme Eggs for breakfast and your ears start bleeding, should you call an ambulance? Asking for a friend.
Anyone looking for office/studio space to rent? Asking for a friend.
What time does Spearmint Rhino open on a Wednesday? Asking for a friend.
Mitch Davis can be found running Numb Magazine amongst other things.
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