Darkchild To Remake His 90s Rnb Classics With Terrible Uk Acts


Anyone with even a passing interest in the development of modern music has heard a Rodney 'Darkchild' Jerkins track. In the 90s Darkchild – along with Timbaland – completely restructured the notion of pop music in ways that are still being imitated today. It's almost certain that UK Garage would have evolved along entirely different routes had it not been so infatuated with Darkchild's sci fi synths and snapping, syncopated rhythm. Time and again Jerkins bought credibility to countless acts with production that was as intellectually satisfying as it was plain damn catchy. From Toni Braxton's He Wasn't Man Enough, to Brandy's android love song What About Us, Darkchild produced hit after innovative hit.

Now he seems bizarrely intent on cackin all over this legacy with a plan to remake his classics with the vocals being provided by – ummmm –  Jessie J. This week he announced to website Hits Daily Double that he plans on celebrating 20 years in the business with 'something special'

"I’ll do the “The Boy Is Mine” with Ariana Grande and Jessie J." he announced, seemingly unaware of jaws around the world clattering to the floor. But there was more. 

"Sam Smith is doing It’s Not Right It’s Okay by Whitney Houston, which Sam told me was the song that made him want to sing. When I asked him if he’d be a part of this project he was like, “No one else can do that song but me!”

We're too speechless with horror at the whole affair to really type more. While Whitney's not around to object to this travesty, we can only hope that Brandy and Monica nip round Rodder's house and slap some sense into him. Here's a reminder of what Jerkins seems intent on destroying: