Hello folks. ‘Tis I, perennial Youtube deejay and unintelligible sentence speaker and sometimes writer, William Wasteman. Now, I love a good disco tune, me. Yes, I’m aware it’s very much in vogue to like disco, but fuck you, I love it. I also really like soy latte’s, Carhartt beanie hats and often grow a beard, what you gunna do, fight me? Is that actually what you’re fucking suggesting? Huh?! Well, if you are going to fight me can you please let me put my soy latte down first because if it spills and get’s in my beard or stains my Carhartt beanie the lads at the office will never let me live it down.
Anyway, seeing as you are so intent on fighting me for liking disco music, and also because of my top perennial Youtube deejay status, I thought whilst I’m here I may as well talk you through some of my fave funk and disco tunes that are doing it for me at the moment.
Snooky – Say It
I actually saw this on the excellent Boogie Cartel Facebook TL. They regularly post absolute bangers and apparently run excellent funk and disco nights (although I’m yet to go to one unfortunately) so you should definitely check them out but only after reading and lolling at my whole article, thanks.
Ronnie Dyson – All Over Your Face
I first heard this at a house party that I got so drunk at that I blacked out and lost my jumper and had to walk home in the freezing fucking cold. In fact this song was the only song I remembered from the whole affair and it’s such a fruity one that I’m actually glad I sacrificed my jumper to disco in return for it’s sweet knowledge.
Gene Dunlap – There’s Talk
I fucking love this tune. It’s got one of those bassline’s that is at the same time both smooth, like Barry White’s forehead, and deep, so deep, like the fact the Barry White isn’t around anymore to listen to these great, great tunes. Rest in peace Baz, you smooth foreheaded genius.
Howard Johnson – So Fine
From the moment you hear the opening “Oooooooh, soo fiiiiiine” on this track you just know that it was made by someone with a way bigger moustache than you. You can just fucking feel it, in the tone. And lo and behold yes, Howard Johnson does in fact have a way bigger moustache than all of you. Case closed.
Midnight Star – Wet My Whistle
What I love about the past was how they managed to basically shoehorn sex into every single phrase possible. ‘Wet my whistle’, sex. ‘Stroke my carpet’, sex. ‘Bon Jovi my Tina Turner’, sex. ‘Give me an estimate on a 1998 Ford Mondeo’, sex, sex sex, it’s non-stop! Anyway Midnight Star are one my favourite bands. You may recognise the name from their classic ‘Midas Touch’ single they did which Boards of Canada did a remix of in 2007 under their Hell Interface pseudonym. Look em up if you love a funky bassline or two (Midnight Star not Boards of Canada, you goon).
Ago – For You
*unexpected bassline in bagging area*
Syreeta – Can’t Shake Your Love
I caught wind of this tune when my good chum Ed Word played it to me at a New Year’s Eve bash. He run’s a really great night in south London that I have actually been to called Boogie Night’s which if you like this sort of music is an absolute must attend. Ed is basically where I get all my disco tunes that I then pretend to everyone that I knew all along myself if anybody asks. “Yes, of course I found this tune, who else would’ve found it, I know loads about disco, fucking loads”.
D-Train – You’re The One For Me
I bet you somewhere along the line of producing this tune someone misspelt the “you’re” in this song’s title. Maybe it was even D-Train himself, and it had to be nervously changed by a febrile record executive behind his back.
Uh oh, D-Train’s cottoned on. Lets watch what happens:
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY RECORD” D bellows, with his impressively basso profondo voice.
“Ah! Mr Train! I didn’t see you there. Sorry Mister Train, it was just…just that the spelling of ‘you’re’…” he chokes on his words, awe struck.
“WHAT ABOUT IT?”
“It’s just that you’ve spelt it, Y-O-U-R, when actually it should be Y-O-U-then an apostrophe-R-E, because it’s you ARE the one for me, not that the one for you is yours.”
“OH REALLY? OH GOD HOW EMBARASSING. DID TERRY SEE? HE DIDN’T? OH THANK GOD, CAN WE CHANGE THAT NOW PLEASE? THANK YOU SO MUCH CARL, YOU’RE THE GREATEST.”
And so on and so forth.