View From The Side: The Worst Christmas Gifts Money Can Buy

Commentary

When I was 19 someone gave me a child’s Harry Potter sleeping bag, though clearly a premium product the fact that it was designed for someone less than 3ft made it far from ideal. It still stands out for me as a memorable gift though, if only because exchanging it at John Lewis meant vouchers which allowed student me to feel I was living the dream for two whole weeks by shopping in Waitrose.

That in mind I thought it would be fun look at some of the more questionable gifts available for music fans these days so here are my top eight.

The Quadrophenic dressing gown

This one’s for the friend who often proclaims how much they’d like to be more like Phil Daniels at all times. Especially when they’ve just got out of bed. Make all their dreams come true with this super stylish parka dressing gown.

The headphone hat

Out in the cold but need to hear your tunes? Never fear the headphone hat is fear combining headphones with an elegant knitted beanie it’s all your dreams come true.

The Boombox pillow

Love hip hop so much your dreams are tinged with Tribe Called Quest? Now you can recreate those Run DMC style dance-offs in your sleep with the Boom box pillow. This is the one time you do the worm and everyone claps.

The Platinum Plectrum

Like playing guitar? Got more money than sense? This one’s for you, Treasure tones platinum picks start at £5,000 but nice folk that they are the price drops to £4,800 if you buy four or more. Just ask your family to remortgage their house.

The Elvis Eyetest

Maybe you have a friend who loves Elvis so much he just can’t get enough of anything King related. You’re in luck, put down those blue suede shoes you were considering and opt for this Elvis themed eye test not only will your friend be thrilled it’s relevant they can also assess if they need new glasses too!

The Boring Bastards T-Shirt

When you’re out it can often be hard to tell if your potential new friends in the pub share your passions. That’s where this T-shirt is a game changer. Sort the true collectors from the MP3 freaks so you don’t waste your time with people you have nothing in common with.

vinyl

The Novelty Choc

Milk chocolate pianos; don’t waste your pennies on gold coins, everyone knows any music fan worth their salt hankers after these babies. Made from Belgian chocolate we hear Elton John has them shipped to him in bulk they’re that special.

chcolate pianos